10 rules for making a killer house venue

The tradition of the house show is one that lies in the heart of the Portland music scene. It’s the ideal way to watch our favorite local acts as they work out the kinks and evolve into greatness.

There is no experience quite like cramming into a basement with intoxicated hipsters and watching them sweat and dance while their eardrums are being damaged by an equally drunk and very excited band. Of course, you can’t have a house show without a good house venue, which is why the most highly sought amenity of any Portland house is the basement.

Once you’ve found that house, you’re ready to host some of the most kick-ass parties you will ever see while simultaneously contributing to the DIY love fest that is Portland.

In the interest of that goal, here are 10 things to know about running a successful house venue:

1.) It’s all in the name! Every house needs an alter ego. Dekum Manor, Ghost Realm and The Green House are already taken (sorry to squash your dreams), but we can learn from their fine example by picking a name that shows spunk, ingenuity and a bit of mystique.

2.) The bands won’t come to you, at least not before you’ve established yourself in the house-venue community. This means you’ve got go out there and find them! Google them, figure out their booking e-mails, send them a MySpace message. Have a potential bill in mind and just tell the bands who you’re trying to book and why you want them to play. Ask them if they have anyone in particular that they would like to play with.

3.) Invest in a PA, or make sure you can borrow one. If you have friends in the right places you can also invest in somebody who can tell you how best to use your newfound PA. You can get around cheap equipment if there’s someone talented at the mixing board.

4.) Create your “stage” area. Christmas lights are great for setting the mood of any basement.

5.) Be professional. Your house is a venue and the bands take these shows seriously. Send out some kind of advance notice letting the bands know when they should load in, etc.

6.) Invite your neighbors! They’ll appreciate it and hopefully won’t call the cops.

7.) Hide your valuables, but don’t bother actually cleaning. Your house is just going to get trashed anyway. You can pick up afterward.

8.) Keep the toilet paper stocked. You don’t want someone using your hand towel after you run out. …

9.) Make sure to have your good friends in attendance. They’ll help you regulate.

10.) When the music’s done and you’re tired of hosting a party, kick people out! If the event was a success, everyone should be too drunk to remember how the night ended anyway.

Summer’s quickly approaching—it’s house show season! Now, get to work converting those basements and come up with a catchy house name, fast!