A Guide to Cruelty-Free Sex

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Being vegan is tough at times. It’s not just a diet—it’s a lifestyle, and life doesn’t stop in the bedroom. Many buy sex products without a second thought on their environmental impact or animal cruelty, so whether you’re vegan for the animals, environment or just to score points with your sexy Whole Foods cashier, if you’re ready to say “thank u, next” to your cheap plastics, animal leather and petrochemical-y lube, check out this roundup of items that will keep your sex life eco-friendly and cruelty-free.

Lube

Almost Naked Organic Personal Lubricant (Good Clean Love, $6.99 / 1.5 oz)

This lube is water-based, made with aloe vera and safe for toys. The company is run by women and for every bottle purchased, they donate to a project that reduces greenhouse gases by an amount equivalent to that bottle’s carbon footprint. You could use this lube during sex forever and never increase your environmental impact. Neat!

Safe sex

In a decidedly un-sexy move, many big companies like Durex and Trojan still test on animals—how the fuck do you test a condom on an animal anyway? Non-vegan ingredients such as casein and glycerin lurk in the labeling of those tiny plastic squares. Since condoms and dental dams can prevent pregnancy and the spread of STIs, it’s better to use non-vegan condoms than none at all, so don’t throw away all of your condoms with the aim of replacing them; that’s just wasteful.

Sustain Condoms (Sustain Natural, one-time or subscription prices available. Also available in health food and drug stores)

Lubricated on all sides, fair trade and triple-tested for safety with vibrant packaging that’ll make you smile. They’re also gluten free, thank God!

Sheer GLYDE Dental Dams (Shop Glyde America, one-time or subscription prices available)

They come in an assortment of flavors and are cleared by the FDA. Keep that mouth safe from STIs, y’all.

Toys

Okay, you can pretty much call any toy vegan. Neither animal products nor animal testing typically find their way into the production of toys, but there are certainly great toys that are manufactured with the environment in mind.

Gaia Eco (SheBop Amazon, $12)

It’s the WORLD’S FIRST RECYCLABLE AND BIODEGRADABLE VIBRATOR. Can I get a hell yeah? You could probably plant this baby in your front garden and from it would blossom a lively vibrator plant. I hope your harvest is bountiful this year.

Glass Toys (Location and prices vary)

Glass is as eco-friendly a material as you’ll get. Plus, since glass-blowing is a crazy cool artform, there are glass toys in all shapes and sizes. Does the thought of putting literal art in your body rev up your engines? If your answer is yes, then go to your local adult boutique (try SheBop, Lovers or Spartacus in the Portland area) to see, pick up and feel their selections.

BDSM

Your leather fetish doesn’t have to include real leather. A quick search on Etsy for “vegan bondage” or “vegan BDSM” will lead you to hundreds of handmade vegan leather goodies. You also get to support small businesses and know exactly who you’re buying from! Check out PlayVegan, a queer and vegan shop whose colorful harnesses and slogan tees will make you smile. SheBop has even recently started stocking some vegan floggers—the Aslan PlayPal Flogger comes in a lovely lavender and will certainly leave maroon marks.

Entertainment

You didn’t think I’d finish the article without a nod to our famous vegan strip club, did you?

Casa Diablo is a vegan strip club north of downtown Portland. The hard and fast rules of the establishment: No fur, leather or wool on the dancer’s bodies. No meat, dairy or eggs on the menu, which is created by vegan chefs and still easily manages to be six or so pages long, rife with options.

Play safe, vegans, and have fun.