Crisis of Faith writes:
My mom and I both have anxiety, and I’ve found a great way to combat mine that’s more natural than pills. CBD oil is really helping me to manage my everyday life and grab many of the energy spoons throughout the day that I use as a way of talking about my anxiety. I want to suggest it to my mom, but she’s a super conservative Christian and already thinks I make some bad life choices. Do you think I could get her to try it without telling her exactly what she’s trying? It’s worth it if it helps, right?
Heya Crisis,
Hmm, this is a tougher case than you’d think. On the one hand, you want to respect people’s beliefs and world views. On the other hand, conservative Christians overwhelmingly voted for Trump. So what to do?
I would say at the end of the day you are the best proof for talking your mom into trying CBD oil. Instead of completely blindsiding her, why don’t you become a sort of two-week trial candidate. You already know how it’s helped, so give your mom the proof by living your life well for two weeks and keeping her informed on why it’s going well. Treat CBD oil as if it’s completely new and groundbreaking and wonderful. You become anecdotal evidence personified.
At the end of the two weeks, sit your mom down and bring some CBD oil. Now they’ll have two weeks’ proof of its workings and an honest list of ingredients to look at. That way you’ve given all the information without added pressure, and if your mom still won’t take it, maybe at least you’ll have planted a seed.
Your mom is a grown-up who is capable of making their decisions, and you have to respect that. If you foist something on them, then you’re no better than the Christians who voted for Trump.
Hearts and Stars,
Your Advice Guru
Cruelest Boss Ever writes:
I found this part-time job at a small business, and I’ve really grown attached to my co-workers. It seems like the perfect fit, except for the owner. He’s verbally abusive, and a lot of my co-workers have already left because of him. I’ve thought about calling in to a tip line but I’m afraid he’ll find out. Is there anything I can do, or am I just stuck as long as I work there?
Heya Cruelest,
Well, most whistleblower lines are anonymous, so you don’t have to worry about the bad boss finding out. Truth be told, it’s possible that you’ve had co-workers have who called, and that’s made the boss’s behavior worse over time. Not that that should ever be a reason not to call.
You have to stand up for yourself. I feel like my generation and the generation after—(I don’t care if you think I’m a millennial: We 30-year-olds are not millennials) have been told that we have to be compliant and complacent because we’re simply lucky to have jobs.
But being abused is not a matter of good luck. And some might think you’re a snowflake for not wanting to deal with verbal abuse. But if you’re spending forty hours a week hearing that, that’s pretty bad.
I know not everyone has the luxury of finding a new job, but while the protections are in place, you have to take advantage of whistleblower lines because otherwise the douchebag boss wins. And he probably voted for Trump. You have to do what you can to make your workplace safer.
If it helps, consider the case of the woman who exposed the inner workings at Uber and all she went through. If she can go through it and come out the other side better, so can you.
You are not your job. Your job is just a stepping stone in your life. You are you, and you deserve better than verbal abuse.
Hearts and Stars,
Your Advice Guru
Move Your Laundry asks:
Why is it so hard for people to move their laundry? What’s the official ruling on how long I can wait to move it—on both busy days and non-busy days in the dorm?
Heya Laundry,
Oh, God…I do identify with this. I cannot begin to understand or fathom people who don’t set timers on their phones. You don’t have to stay with your laundry per se, but you should have some idea of your cycle time.
I especially don’t like having to move bras from the washer to the dryer or waiting three hours for someone’s field hockey game to get done with so they can move their laundry. You’re not the only one using the space. Be respectful.
All that diatribe aside, I hate moving other people’s clothing, but sometimes you don’t have a choice. My not-official ruling is that on the weekdays, you have an hour to move your stuff after the cycle ends. On the weekends, you get thirty minutes. I also would suggest, instead of just piling it on top of the machine, have a separate laundry bag ready for other people’s wet clothes so that you have a space to write something on. And by bag, I mean have a trash bag. Not because you’re going to throw it away, but more because you shouldn’t expect to get it back.
Always remember, it’s better to stand up than to back down. Otherwise your laundry will never get done on time.
Hearts and Stars,
Your Advice Guru