Nobody knows it, but thousands of Americans are living their ordinary, typical lives even though they truly belong in the local psychiatric ward. These people are crazy. They are out of their minds. It’s obvious, their eyes see one thing, but their mind does another. They suffer from an outbreak of a new phenomenon, “Mistaken All-Star Dysfunction,” and don’t appear to be cured anytime soon.
This illness is actually pretty easy to detect. Physicians say the primary symptom is a lack of good judgment. More specifically, victims are usually NBA fans who are forced to make their All-Star selections based on name recognition and fame instead of merit.
The most convincing case to date involves Blazers’ forward Zach Randolph. Portland’s leading scorer is having the season of his life. He stands alone as the only player in the NBA to average over 20 points and 10 rebounds per game with nearly 24 points and just over 10 boards a night for the always improving Blazers.
The key word here is “only.” He is one of a kind perched atop his class and recognized by many as one of the best in the league. But, the sudden rash of this sickness has cost Randolph a spot on the All-Star team. Players with inferior statistics but household names like Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan and Dirk Nowitzki have all but secured a place on this year’s All-Star squad.
It is confusing and somewhat disturbing, because none of these players’ season resume matches up with Randolph’s, yet it’s more than inevitable that they will be partying and playing in Las Vegas come February and Randolph will be watching from his couch.
Those suffering from Mistaken All-Star Dysfunction are forcing the former Michigan State star to suffer himself. His stats stack up with anyone in the league, but he is nowhere to be found in the top 10 of All-Star voting for Western Conference forwards. Guys like Shane Battier and Josh Howard, not even the number one options on their respective teams, sit comfortably ahead of Randolph, which is absolutely absurd.
Maybe fans are coming down on Randolph for the bird he flashed at Indiana fans earlier this season. Or possibly it is because of the sex scandal he starred in during the summer. But, most likely, it’s neither of those because fans across the country would have to know his name and where he plays to place offenses such as these on his record.
Regardless of why or how so many have fallen victim to this terrible disorder, I will admit it reflects poorly on the NBA. Instead of rewarding players that have been performing at the top of their game like the NFL or MLB, the NBA prefers big names and bigger cities. The NBA is more about being flashy and less about being a solid, consistent player. Rather than looking at the whole body of work, fans are taught to choose players based on celebrity status, making the All-Star game a huge popularity contest.
It is disgusting how brainwashed fans really are by NBA marketing techniques. Take the situation a couple of years ago, when NBA royalty, Grant Hill, watched from the bench in street clothes almost every night leading to the All-Star game, but was still voted to the starting lineup. How does that happen? Why does he deserve to suit up for a special exhibition game when he can’t figure out how to put on his uniform for a regular season affair? That is ridiculous.
All I can say is Randolph is getting shafted. Call it a disorder, sickness, disease or illness, but I’m sick of the NBA forgetting about the little guy. It doesn’t matter how big Randolph’s numbers are because his name and city aren’t even on the map. People who call themselves NBA diehards scan the All-Star ballot and instantly scowl when they see his name. They don’t know how many rebounds or points he averages, and they probably don’t know where Portland, Oregon is located, which means they won’t fill in the circle next to his name.
It is that simple. Without the household name or big city appeal, a player of Randolph’s caliber won’t be in Vegas on Feb. 18. And that is a shame. It is sickening.