Answered! Irrelevant information that you need to know

Say wha?

“Oh, is that mine?”-Reported response by man caught fondling himself in an Aloha Big Lots store.Source: Associated Press

In case you were wondering…Have you ever wondered how clean your favorite restaurants are behind the scenes? How many times have they been in trouble for improper food storage? How long that steam tray food has been sitting there at scary-low temperatures?

Thanks to the county government (yay for the government!) you can view all of the latest restaurant inspection reports for many local counties, including Portland State’s home county of Multnomah.

To view the Multnomah County Health Department inspection reports (you’ll have to do your own searching if you live in another county) visit www2.co.multnomah.or.us/Health/mchealthinspect to do a quick search and figure out if your favorite restaurant is up-to-snuff. For those too lazy to do their own research, here are some recent area-restaurant rule violations, and their overall score out of 100:

Cheerful Tortoise – 05/06/08Score: 84″Raw or ready-to-eat food is not properly protected from cross contamination.”

Subway (Smith Memorial Student Union) – 10/23/07Score: 86″Food employees eat, drink or use tobacco in unapproved areas or use an inappropriate beverage container for drinking.”

Paccini – 02/29/08 Score: 91″Potentially hazardous food is not maintained at proper hot or cold holding temperatures.”

Chipotle ��- 01/08/08Score: 100No violations

What the hell is that?It’s the Stott Center pool–and this week it will be turned into a movie theater and a golf course. Well, sort of.

The Dive In Movie event, this time featuring Happy Gilmore, returns to the pool at 8:30 p.m. on Thursday. The event, which started this school year, has run every term and gives students the chance to float lazily around the indoor pool, eat free food and watch movies projected on the wall.

So far the aquatics department has shown National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for the film series and with Happy Gilmore, the “I’m angry and I play golf” movie starring Adam Sandler, it looks like the film choices are going to stick in the mainstream comedy realm.

This is probably for the best.

If they chose to branch out and play films such as those commonly shown in PSU film classes–Bicycle Thieves or The Seventh Seal–once happy floaters would probably fall off of their inner tubes in a deep existential depression and refuse to come up for air.

For this Dive In Movie, floating golf greens will be set up in the pool so wannabe Gilmores can pitch small, sticky balls towards the makeshift hole. And please, just because the spirit of the event is supposed to be light, don’t think it’s OK to throw a candy bar in the pool. If you’ve seen that other famous golf comedy, Caddyshack, you know how that will end.