Beyond reruns

Just because the sun has returned to our usually drizzly city, doesn’t mean for a second people are going to stop watching television.

Thing is, summer is a sort of testing ground, featuring television series the studios aren’t entirely sure about or were too crappy to air during the peak viewing months.

After all, NBC spent a lot of money on I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!, starring super-huge douche ba—ahem, er … the not-at-all lame Stephen Baldwin. And they no doubt expect a handsome return from advertisers.

So without further ado, here is the Vanguard‘s highly anticipated, enormously prejudiced, brashly subjective take on what looks decent this summer (it’s a short list). As is consistent with personal policy, reality shows are exempt from consideration as decent.
 
The Philanthropist
NBC
 
Like all stereotypical sexy, billionaire playboys on television, Teddy Rist (Thomas Purefoy, Rome) is a tortured man. Unfortunately, Teddy has lost his only son.

So how does Teddy fill the void of something so horrible? According to NBC’s synopsis, he becomes a “vigilante philanthropist.”

Whatever that means.

Teddy Rist is like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark. He’s obscenely wealthy, he can do whatever he wants, but for him, that means using his absurd wealth to help the needy. Instead of punishing evildoers, he performs philanthropic acts, renegade style.
 
The Goode Family
ABC
 
From the creator of Beavis and Butt-head and King of the Hill comes an animated sitcom about Portland. Not actually, of course, but it might as well be.

The Goodes are a vegan family who are as well intentioned as they are misguided. In their attempts to uphold political correctness and live by the creedo “What would Al Gore Do?” they often miss the point entirely.

The show would be funny if it weren’t so goddamn true. If you watch the show and go “Shit, do I really look like that?” Chances are, yes, you really do. This show is pretty much a liberal version of King of the Hill.
 
Nurse Jackie
Showtime
 
What if Dr. Gregory House was a female nurse? That’s pretty much Nurse Jackie. Played by Edie Falco (The Sopranos, 30 Rock), Jackie is sassy and saucy, she self-medicates and she’s smarter than everybody else in the ER.

When she’s not bossing around doctors and patients, she’s snorting Percocet like a drunk chick at a frat party.

Difference is, she doesn’t black out when she’s finished. She saves lives. Nurse Jackie has promise, as long as they can avoid making it House for the Lifetime Network.
 
Mental
FOX
 
Dr. Jack Gallagher (oh come on, aren’t there enough handsome Dr. Jacks out there?), played by British actor Chris Vance is the new director of mental health dervices at Wharton Memorial Hospital in L.A.

But he’s a loose cannon. He plays by his own rules, uses unorthodox treatments and … God, I can’t even finish this. It’s just House, again.
 
Merlin
NBC
 
Instead of licensing the rights to a show, then remaking it for American audiences like they did with The Office, NBC is rebroadcasting the BBC’s hit series Merlin.

Apparently it was enough of a hit across the pond that the BBC has ordered a second season. So if it does as well stateside, you can expect to see a second season of adventures of the young Merlin (Colin Morgan) and his BFF, Prince Arthur (Bradley James), growing up in Camelot.

Here’s hoping it’ll be less like Harry Potter and more like Superbad meets the Arthurian legend.
 
Dark Blue
TNT
 
Jerry Bruckheimer is only marginally qualified to produce a crime series. After producing all three CSI series, Cold Case, Without a Trace and more, the Brucka brings us Dark Blue, a series about a team of undercover police officers headed by Carter Shaw (Dylan McDermott).

It’s a refreshing change from the parade of medical series this summer, although it’ll still likely be a by-the-books cop show.

McDermott’s character is a wounded man who has lost his wife. He struggles to manage a complex series of assignments, his own officers and all the bad guys that come with being a television cop.
 
Meteor and The Storm
NBC
 
NBC has got a couple of miniseries coming out this summer, as part of their “Survival Sundays” lineup. Meteor and The Storm are both about shit-your-pants-style natural disasters and are pretty self-explanatory in their titles.

Tune in if you want to see mankind get its shit ruined.