I firmly believe that being prepared and protecting yourself from harm is not “tacky,” it’s common sense.
Unfortunately, will.i.am is only one of many celebrities who feel the need to dispense sex advice that perpetuates harmful stereotypes. No one, be it politician, celebrity or random guy on the street, is qualified to speak for another person’s sexual practices. I’m more concerned about a growing negative public attitude toward demonstrating sexual responsibility and contraception.
So many of us are careful to hide from others that we’re sexually active beings. Everyone has the right to keep their sex life private, but nobody should ever be made to feel embarrassed to admit they are sexually active. Shaming women for engaging in safe sex practices ought to be unacceptable.
I’ve been handing out condoms (and dental dams) in Portland for the past six years. Some people bound toward me, happy to grab a handful and share all sorts of private information about their sex lives, but others slink by the table several times before reaching into a bowl and slipping a condom into their pocket, hoping I won’t see them.
I’ve amassed dozens of stories concerning condom distribution—everywhere from college campuses, street fairs, major events and fleet week—and I’m still amazed by how many people associate carrying condoms with something negative. Some see carrying condoms around as, oddly enough, indicative of irresponsible behavior.
From years of working for pro-choice organizations I can testify that whether you personally like using condoms or not, the underlying fact is that many people need condoms and often don’t have them readily accessible when the need arises.
Unfortunately, the problem is worse than this. A negative attitude toward condom usage has potentially perilous real-world consequences.
Studies show that some cities have significantly lowered their rates of HIV transmission by encouraging needle exchange programs and distributing millions of condoms. However, police in these cities have been seizing condoms and using them as evidence of prostitution, making alleged sex workers more hesitant to carry them. Evidence suggests that these sex workers now engage in increased amounts of unprotected sex. Recent legislation introduced by public health workers and some state lawmakers to combat this trend has been largely unsuccessful.
Whether you believe sex work ought to be legal or illegal, nothing positive can come of sex workers who fear carrying condoms.
Similarly, many convenience stores keep condoms under lock and key, ostensibly to prevent theft. This decreases the amount of condoms purchased and occasionally shames the purchaser. While I always tell people never to steal condoms because it only perpetuates this problem, I’d much rather those who really can’t afford to pay for condoms or are embarrassed to purchase them at the register still have access.
Luckily for Portland State students, there are quite a few places to get free condoms on campus: the Center for Student Health and Counseling, the Queer Resource Center, the Women’s Resource Center and your dorm’s resident adviser. There are also many other resources in the greater Portland community.
I urge you to take advantage of your ability to access these services (and other preventative reproductive health care services) now.
There’s nothing to be ashamed about.