Dining inside the box

Fifty years ago, college kids around the globe sought an answer to the question, “How many of us can we cram into a phone booth?” Now in 2009, it seems the fine folks at Brunch Box are asking a similar question: “How much awesome can we cram in to one tiny food cart?”

The recently opened food stand on Southwest Fifth Avenue and Stark Street goes where few carts downtown dare to venture—into the land of breakfast fare. English muffins are handmade daily, then toasted up and topped with anything from bacon and egg to tomato and spinach.

Now, if you are at all familiar with Portland’s brunch scene, you will know that it is not a hasty affair. Brunch involves writing your name on a two-page-long waiting list. It involves standing outside, rain or shine, clutching a mug of coffee to your chest, patiently waiting your turn for a table.

So it came as a pretty nice surprise when I walked down to Brunch Box one sunny morning to discover it open with no line. None. I walked up, ordered my bacon, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich, paid the nice people my $3.50 and waited about five minutes for them to cook up my food.

The B.E.C. was big for an English-muffin sandwich and they thoughtfully wrapped it up for me in grease-resistant paper. The sandwich then went through the morning commute test: I stuck it in the outer pocket of my messenger bag and walked back up to campus with it, then found a place to eat. The sandwich survived the trip completely intact, still perfectly warm and gooey.

Later, I enlisted a friend to help me tackle the lunch menu. This is really where the awesome-cramming comes into play at Brunch Box. Their specialty is without a doubt their burgers; their adorably named and gigantic burgers.

The cart’s menu lists (among others) the OMG! Burger (egg, ham, Spam, bacon and cheese, plus a Black Angus patty), the YouCANhascheeseburger! (a cheeseburger set between two grilled cheese sandwiches), and then the final megaboss of all burgers, the Redonkadonk, which is the OMG! Burger sandwiched between two grilled cheese sandwiches on Texas toast instead of a regular bun.

By now, there’s no doubt some of you are salivating, some are becoming morally indignant about the wanton use of meat products at this cart and the rest of you are in a half-catatonic state of shock and awe at the magnitude of awesome described.

Brunch Box could stop there, but it doesn’t. The owners also decided to serve coffee, cold beverages and bags of chips for $1 each (though honestly, I cannot imagine being hungry enough after one of these burgers to need chips). The burgers and sandwiches themselves are priced mostly in the $3–5 range (though to do battle with the Redonkadonk will cost you $9). Daily specials, such as the recently concocted SpamORamah and the Steakburgah, are generally $5.

But is it delicious? I hear you asking.

Yes, my friends. It really, really is. These kids quite honestly know how to rock a grill (and a can of Spam).