Don’t ask, don’t tell in the classroom

Tired of hearing about gay rights? Too bad. Gay rights are going to be an issue until gays have the same rights as heterosexuals—until gays can be open about their personal lives in the same way heterosexuals can. And we’re not there yet.

Beaverton student-teacher Seth Stambaugh made national headlines a couple of weeks ago when he answered a Sexton Mountain Elementary student’s question about whether he was married or not.

As Stambaugh explained to Emily Harris on OPB’s “Think Out Loud,” he answered honestly—he told the fourth grader no, that it was illegal for him to get married. When the student pressed him further, asking why (if it was because he was too young), Stambaugh answered that it was because he would want to marry a man and that was illegal in the state of Oregon.

A parent of another student caught wind of the exchange and asked that the teacher be dismissed. Lewis & Clark College, where Stambaugh is getting his teaching degree, then took Stambaugh out of Beaverton schools and began the lengthy, bureaucratic process of reassigning him.

The decision to dismiss Stambaugh made a powerful example of how gays are still thought of as second-class citizens and are still not afforded the same basic rights as heterosexuals. Straight people are accustomed to gays being secretive and evasive when it comes to their personal lives and they are shocked and appalled when they’re not. The only way homosexuality is going to be demystified and normalized is by more gay people living by the same principles as Stambaugh: honesty, frankness and openness.

The Beaverton school district described Stambaugh’s response to the student’s questions as “inappropriate” and “unprofessional.” But as Stambaugh’s attorney Lake Perriguey told Emily Harris, the school district does not ask its heterosexual teachers to avoid discussing their marital status with the children. In fact, there was a program in another class at Sexton Mountain Elementary in which student teachers and full-time teachers brought in pictures of their fiancées and spouses to share. What was it about discussing his marital status, then, that was “inappropriate”?

It was believed to be inappropriate merely because he was referencing the gay lifestyle, and because of a lack of wide-range mainstream inclusion or normalization of homosexuality, the gay lifestyle has been stereotyped, demonized and deemed generally immoral and predatory.

Some people believe that Stambaugh’s response was “too much information,” that he should have deflected, been evasive and answered the child with a simple “no” and redirected. But if a straight teacher were to discuss his/her marital status, even explained why they were married or why not, no one would think twice.

David Wilkinson, president of the Beaverton Education Association, acknowledged the double standard when he told Angela Webber of the Portland Tribune, “As a heterosexual male, I can talk about my wife and our children. Our (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) members have been shown that they are not at liberty to discuss their personal lives in the same way.”

Cathlene McGraw, coordinator of Queer Student Services, Outreach and Education at PSU, said, “You answer the questions that they ask you. [They are] really basic facts—it is illegal for queer folks to get married. And children should be aware of that…the things he said are not untrue.”

When gays are denied the right to speak openly about their personal lives the way heterosexuals do everyday, it is not only a question of fairness, it is a matter of liberty.

Despite the fact that there are no laws in place to protect those who are not official employees of the school district, such as interns, volunteers or student teachers, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act prohibits employers from making employment decisions based on an employee’s sexual orientation. So there is an attempt at the federal level to ensure fairness in the workplace where sexual orientation in concerned. The Beaverton School District is guilty of blatant disregard of that measure.

Legislation aside, the real crime here is that a man attempted to use honesty with a child and was punished for it. Stambaugh was not lewd, crass or preachy. He merely spoke about the truth of his life and should not have been punished. ?