Downtown bars
Valentines232 S.W. Ankeny503-248-1600A hip old town bar with great mixed drinks and various indie/weird shows throughout the week.
Shanghai Tunnel211 S.W. Ankeny Street 503-222-4001Sassy bartenders, ample seating downstairs, with a great, dark atmosphere.
The Red Eye Lounge209 N.W. Couch503-222-2915Opium den meets tree house in this dark little bar in Old Town.
The Thirsty Lion71 S.W. 2nd Ave503-222-2155All the authentic British atmosphere of your next corporate event!
Berbati’s Pan231 S.W. Ankeny St503-248-4579Smokey and dirty with ample pool tables and a few decent pinball machines. Also, a giant screen that plays movies most nights.The Ash Street Saloon225 S.W. Ash St503-226-0430Great sound system for their music and comedy shows.
Captain Ankeny’s Well50 S.W. 3rd Avenue503-223-1375A decent place to catch a cheap drink before a show elsewhere. Good specials, and decent food.
Dante’s Caffe Italiano1 S.W. 3rd Ave503-226-6630Home of Sinferno Cabaret and Karaoke From Hell! Spendy drinks, though.
Kelly’s Olympian426 S.W. Washington St503-228-3669Nice, stiff drinks under the hallowed glow of a neon pegasus.
Boxxes1035 S.W. Stark St.503-226-4171This place is now non-smoking and there’s frequently a cover charge. Get your shitty dance music elsewhere.
The Rialto529 S.W. 4th Ave503-228-7605Expensive pool tables, large stiff drinks, nonchalant service.
Embers110 N.W. Broadway 503-222-3802The bar at Embers is actually an aquarium filled with tropical fish, which is pretty fucking cool. They lose points, however, for serving $5 drinks in tiny plastic cups.
Low Brow Lounge1036 N.W. Hoyt St503-226-0200A divey relic of the pre-Pearl era. Come for the dark corners, stay for the velvet Elvis paintings.
Matador1967 W. Burnside St.503-222-5822A popular dive bar with greasy (but also some healty) food and $5 pitchers. A perfect pit-stop after events at PGE Park.
C.C. Slaughters219 N.W. Davis St.503-248-9135Noxious dance music plus naked flag football porn plus $1.25 Thursday night cocktails equals paradise. Sometimes the porn on the screen can be a little distracting.
The Bitter End1981 W Burnside St503-517-0178Ultra smokey little pool hall with a quiz night and $1 PBRs on Mondays.
Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge510 N.W. 11th Ave503-221-2130Tea-infused cocktails set in a cozy, hip little room behind the tea shop.
Mu Mu’s612 N.W. 21st 503-223-8169A quaint, hip bar in Northwest Portland’s version of bar row. Booths cover the walls, space is tight, and drinks are a little pricey.
The Evil PlaceAddress: None of your damn businessNo, it’s not really called The Evil Place. But it’s a fitting pet name for a downtown gay bar that charges a mere $3 for what is essentially a pint glass of pure liquor. After two or three, you may end up in a bar fight, vomiting in your girlfriend’s bed or accidentally purchasing crack-cocaine. It’s happened before. Between the deadly drinks and ultra-divey atmosphere, The Evil Place is just begging to be overtaken by hipsters. Which is why we ain’t gonna tell you where it is or what it’s really called.
