Whether you’re flat broke or still enjoying the fruits of yoursubsidized loans, summer always starts a little rough. You finishthe term feeling the happiest and lightest you’ve felt since thefinish of the last.
Then the balloon pops, the withdrawals kick in from thecelebratory bender and you ask yourself, “What the hell am I goingto do now?” Pretty soon you wish you had a full course load and areason to exist for three more months. Graduation is evenworse.
The standard plan is to get a job or, if you’re one of theprivileged, perhaps go on vacation. No one ever talks about justletting the celebration go on and on and on until the next termstarts; you grow up or die. Isn’t that an option? No one knowsbecause those people disappear rather quickly, but you can try,dammit! Do it for the kids and the miserable full time employeeseverywhere – it’s your duty!
Of course inbetween celebrating you should probably do some gooddeeds – like volunteering to help the environment. Do it for thetiny woodland animals. Without them, we’d be in big, big trouble.At least go sign a couple e-petitions at MoveOn.org and write acouple letters to your elected representatives. Maybe attend ameeting or two at your local activist organization. Sure it’s niceto “save the world” and “change the system” and all that, but damn,there’s no better place to get laid.
Then, with all that sexy activism out of the way, you can carryon with the endless celebration. To cut down on the guilt, here aresome of June’s exciting holidays, because if you have a reason tocelebrate it’s much better.
June: All month. Queer Pride. Because after all, we’re all alittle gay, or merry, or something sometime.
June 5: World Environment Day (U.N.) This is a big one. And,thanks to a new blockbuster film, some attention is finally beingpaid to global warming. Hollywood always saves the day!
June 6: Teacher’s Day (U.S.). Just in tine for finals – the lastchance to bribe yourself a passing grade.
June 7: Unionsopplosningen (Norway) Sounds good! I’ll takethree!
June 9: Sigurdsblot (Norse) festival honoring Sigurd (Sigifrithor Siegfreid), the great hero who slew the dragon Fafnir and wonback the treasure of the Rhine. Now this is a dude who abides.Don’t forget to spill some in his name.
June 11: King Kamehameha I Day (Hawaiian) This dude was sostrong he could break open a coconut using one hand. Pina Colada?Why, yes. Yes I will!
June 14: Flag Day (U.S.) If you haven’t yet, let your freak flagfly, you big freak.
June 17: Eat Your Vegetables Day (U.S.) You heard it! Eat yourvegetables! You’ve got a lot more celebrating to do!
June 20: Summer Solstice. The longest day always means goodtimes.
It’s also Bald Eagle Day (US) and Father’s Day, which I’vealways had trouble telling apart.
June 22: National Chocolate Eclair Day (U.S.). A day that speaksfor itself, in a custard-gurgling gooey salute to your health!
June 23: National Pink Day (U.S.) The color, not the singer.Finally, an excuse to wear those cute little ribbons in your hair.It is also the date that people thought Fairies were most likely tobe active. It was on this day in 1694 that the utopian communityknown as Woman of the Wilderness (which was all male), made up ofprimitive Christians, alchemists and mystics, landed in what wouldcome to be known as Germantown, Pa. And it was on this day in 1701that the above community said they were visited by a glowing whitesphere while burning their St. John’s Day fires. And it was the dayin 1980 that a series of Bigfoot sightings in Logan County, Ohiowould conclude when a woman said that she was confronted by onewith its knees pointing the wrong way and no face. If you don’t seethe connection, and obvious reason to celebrate, you’re notthinking hard enough, or drunk enough.
June 26: Pied Piper Day / National Chocolate Pudding Day (U.S.).Once again, if you don’t see the connection, you’re not thinkinghard enough.
June. 28: Song “Happy Birthday” written in 1859 / Paul BunyanDay, whom it turns out was not a real figure from folklore but acharacter invented by two men working for a lumber company. Thatmeans it’s hug a logger day, and drink a Bunyan size lager!
And that’s it. You’re on your own for July and August – but Ithink you’ll do OK.
The Straight Dope is embarking on a permanent vacation. Thankyou one and all.
Thanks to:http://community-2.webtv.net/magentashadow/DaysofNote/