Fan fiction and nepotism

A couple days ago, I happened to read a review of the film Lovelace on the Vanity Fair website. I’m looking forward to seeing it, and I was hoping the critics liked it. The review wasn’t negative, but it filled me with righteous anger.

The critic was 19-year-old Cazzie David, who made it clear she had never written a movie review before. She spent most of the article talking about herself and how she’s super-sensitive to the world—she cries because dogs have to wear leashes and bus drivers have to drive the same route every day.

She also really, really loves movies, but has conveniently never heard of any of the movies Vanity Fair offered to let her review. She chose Lovelace because it sounded like a romantic comedy. And she only enjoys romantic comedies—because she’s sensitive, of course.

By this point, I don’t need to explain to any film majors or film geeks why I was so angry. I can hear your groans from here. Lovelace is a biopic about ’70s porn actress Linda Lovelace and her abusive husband. And poor, poor, sensitive Cazzie had to cover her eyes through most of it.

How does this 19-year-old girl, who clearly has no idea what she’s doing and is obviously staggeringly immature, get to write movie reviews for Vanity Fair? It baffled me at first. Then I searched her name on Google and discovered she’s the daughter of famed comedian and Seinfeld creator Larry David. So there you have it.

I’ve never really gotten mad about nepotism in acting, because I know I wouldn’t cut it as a starlet even if my last name were Collins, Kravitz or Roberts. But as someone who has written copious film reviews, I suddenly understood why it could be infuriating.

I’ve also been perturbed by the recent rise in fan fiction authors retooling their stories to pass as original and suddenly becoming rich and famous.

Most people know the story of E.L. James, and how the massively successful and genuinely horrible Fifty Shades of Gray series started out as Twilight erotica stories. Not only does Twilight author Stephenie Meyer make millions for her drivel, now somebody is making millions from fan fiction based on that drivel.

Then there’s The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. The film version comes out Aug. 21, starring Lily Collins (speaking of starlets and nepotism). Most people don’t realize that Cassandra Clare, the author of the book series on which this film and its future sequels are based, got the story from her Harry Potter fan fiction.

Mundanes and shadowhunters? They used to be muggles and wizards. Clare has faced accusations of plagiarism for years now, but nobody really cares.

I have to be honest about why these things bother me. It’s obviously because I’m a writer and people have always said I’m good at it (damn them!). It’s only natural to get frustrated when you see people succeeding with such relative ease.

But shouldn’t that be good news for all of us who are aspiring authors? We can start writing Mortal Instruments fan fiction, change the names around, and be set for life. That’s all you have to do these days—that or have a famous relative make a few calls.