Fathers group brings families together

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Three-year-old Glory plays with a dollhouse in the Resource Center for Students with Children, a space that is bountiful with board games, blocks and toys.

Her father, Erick Castillo, watches her from a sofa, beaming as she offers him a miniature toilet toy.

Every week, a group of students who are fathers meets to touch base, network with their kids and relax.

“There’s a huge demographic [of fathers] on campus. We want a push to tell the faculty that the demographics are changing,” said Castillo, a father of two who is majoring in social sciences.

In mid-March, the dads and their children took advantage of sunny skies and played outside.

“And that’s one thing we were talking about, how there are differences in the way we grew up versus how kids are growing up [now, in terms of] how much they get to play outside,” Castillo said. “We live in a fear-based society, but it is important to give kids an avenue to be outside.”

Joel Shempert, an arts and letters major who regularly attends group meetings, concurred.

“What I really want is for my daughter to have a community of kids to play with,” Shempert said.

A couple of parent groups regularly meet in the resource center.

“We want families to connect,” said Chenae Garcia, a program specialist at the center. “A lot of students who have children feel isolated on campus.”

The center plans events for parents and children, offers financial grants and features a donation-based clothing closet.

Parent groups discuss the unique stresses of being both a student and caregiver. In many cases, older parents offer life advice to first-time parents who feel overwhelmed.

“It’s a pretty relaxed, informal format,” Garcia said.

“I can do a quick walk-by to use the printer or study while my daughter plays,” Castillo said. “And this even gives us a chance to play together.”

Last year, a group of fathers on campus began discussing the idea of starting a dads’ group. They joined a book group led by a student taking a senior capstone course that focused on raising healthy children.

The topics that arose during discussions—everything from television’s effect on kids to sleeping patterns—prompted the idea of launching a separate group.

Castillo pointed to the unique challenges of attending an urban university with a small child in tow.

“Smoking on campus is an issue,” Castillo said. “There are so many kids here, even with the smoke-free corridor, kids will be like, ‘What’s that smell?’”

Other times, Castillo faces hectic situations where local school districts’ in-service days leave him scrambling to find child care.

“That’s another thing the group can do, we can arrange babysitting,” Castillo said.

Shempert, who is not his daughter’s primary caregiver but wants to be more involved, finds it difficult to arrange child care during his classes.

“Trying to get even a couple of days of child care is hard,” said Shempert, whose daughter is on a wait list for child care.

“Sometimes I feel like emailing my professors, but I don’t want to play the daughter card,” Shempert said, laughing.

But many instructors are understanding of nontraditional students, Castillo said. Some even allow students to bring their children to class.

“I brought my son to my ‘Teaching Elementary School Math’ class,” Castillo said. “He was busy taking notes on what the professor was teaching!”

“We’re in the process of getting things up and running. There’s been a good response, and now we’re just trying to find a mutual time to meet,” Castillo said.

For information on joining the group, contact the Resource Center for Students with Children at 503-725-9878 or visit their office in the Smith Memorial Student Union, suite 462 (fourth floor). Check out their website at pdx.edu/students-with-children.