Go Further’ – further gone

Children, can you say “vanity project?” Woody Harrelson’s newdocumentary “Go Further” is the

dictionary definition of that term. The movie consists of Woody,his brother Brett, a moronic personal assistant named Steve and awhole bunch of other hippy-dippy types biking and busing fromSeattle down to Santa Barbara. Their mission along the way is toteach everyone they meet the joys and benefits of an organiclifestyle. And while that’s a noble idea, it gets lost in a moviethat mostly consists of Woody and Co. engaging in variouseco-friendly activities while mugging for the camera.

Steve, the aforementioned idiot personal assistant (he mentionshe was a PA for “Will and Grace” in the movie; no wonder that showstunk for so long), tells us early in the movie that he’s ajunk-food addict and he’s, like, totally not sure he can handlethis whole organic trip. During one fast food binge at aconvenience store, Steve chats up three paint-sniffing kids in apick-up truck. After offering them some organic pastries, he asksthem about the logging situation in their town. Taking a big snifffrom a spray paint can, the girl in the middle seat tells Stevethat yeah, totally, they cut down tons of trees. Then the film cutsto stock footage of a clear-cut forest. Brilliant, an environmentalcrisis is brought to our attention by three kids sniffing aerosolin front of a Kwik-E-Mart.

But that gives me an idea for a better movie. Here’s thepitch: three paint-huffing kids, Sniffly, Dopey and Airy, educateviewers about various geopolitical crises. Lecturing abouteverything from overpopulation to lax pollution laws, the trashythreesome bring that brain cell-bereft, dead end junkie sensibilitythat’s been missing from geopolitics for far too long. In one ofthe movie’s most stirring scenes, the three could be asked if theythink Woody Harrelson and his stoner friends riding around in a bustalking about living organically would make a good movie. Theirminds pushing through a fog of paint fumes and dead brain cells,the kids stare in space for five whole minutes.

Finally, Dopey would reply, “No, that’s a terrible idea. Theyshould definitely not make that movie. And if they somehow manageto make that movie, no one should see it. I mean, seriously, noone. No one should subject them selves to that. I sniff paint toget high and even I’ve got enough sense not to see a movie aboutWoody Harrelson and his friends driving a bus around talking aboutorganic food.”

So don’t take my word for it. Listen to Dopey. Go read “FastFood Nation” or research organic food on the internet. Just don’tgo see “Go Further.” Our world may very well depend on it.