as we settle comfortably into the 21st century, it’s becoming apparent that traditions are becoming a thing of the past.
Good, bad—it doesn’t seem to matter. It’s a fast-paced world, and certain things are being left in the dust.
It has to stop. And the first thing you can do to stop it is watch some football on Thursday.
I know, it’s common knowledge that most of the country will have the TV on at some point during Thanksgiving, even if the Lions noise is just humming in the background.
But what if we took it a step further and really watched the games?
Impossible, you say? Aunt Betty would never allow it; everyone needs to pitch in and help cook, right? Here’s how you’re going to get your football on Thanksgiving. Not only will you be serving your own needs, but, let’s be honest, you’ll be saving traditions in America!
THE PROBLEM: You’re needed in the kitchen.
Ok, this is acceptable. After all, its 2013. If you’re going to be eating, it’s only conceivable that you can help pitch in a little. But this doesn’t have to be a buzz-kill situation. The key, my friend, is communication.
Step one: Locate the person in charge. You’ll know them—they don’t hide on days like Thanksgiving.
The key is that you must do this locating on Wednesday. Find a quiet space, sit them down and tell them you want to help with the feast. Chances are that they’ll be so shocked to hear this that the next three minutes will be a blur.
This is where you pounce.
Explain that Thanksgiving is providing a plethora of entertaining games that the whole family can enjoy, and therefore it would behoove the family to do most of the prep work the night before. This way, not only does the person in charge get the help they desire, it will make their Thanksgiving more enjoyable as well!
Everybody wins, as far as I’m concerned.
THE PROBLEM: Your significant other is giving you “The Look.”
The temperature just dropped a few degrees. We all know “The Look,” gentlemen, and quite frankly, it scares the hell out of us.
The Look can take on new meaning when the holidays roll around. To avoid this and stay on the good side of life, it’s important to, again, communicate.
Are there kids in the picture? Perfect. Using your kids as leverage is one of the great advantages of having little ones. About three to four days before Thanksgiving, begin telling the lovely lady in your life how excited you are for her feast, as Thanksgiving is just another opportunity to eat her amazingly delicious food!
When the big day arrives, point out that the kids are being “extra noisy” this morning and volunteer to take them away to give her some peace and quiet. Not only does she get her alone time, but you get bonus points for pitching in.
When the game comes on? Have the kids sit on your lap, watch the game in peace, then give them 20 bucks apiece for being quiet.
Again, everyone wins.
THE PROBLEM: You’ve survived through the first game, but people are catching on.
This is the classic struggle, man’s all-day needs vs. reality. Watching one football game in a day is great, but there’s an empty feeling left over, especially now that the NFL has added a third game to the lineup.
You’re beginning to get a little cocky, thinking you have made it through the day sans helping. Then, a shrill sound emanates from the kitchen…
Dishes!
Oh, crap. Just when you thought it was safe to unzip and relax, that dreaded activity strikes again. OK, don’t panic. Chances are you have some things that will help. DVR. Dishwasher. Kids that are old enough to do dishes.
However, if none of these will suffice, there’s only one other option.
Pour a glass of wine, draw her a bath, tell her to relax for a bit….then do the dishes in a frenetic, mad-dash attempt. If you stay focused, they can be done in five minutes, no matter the amount.
They may not be clean, but hey, by the time they’re discovered tomorrow, who cares? You got through three games of football nearly uninterrupted, and that’s a successful Thanksgiving.
