I suppose this illustrates how worry-free my life is, but few things grind my gears quite like poor gym etiquette. Though I’m far from a germophobe, I don’t exactly like having to work out in another person’s pool of sweat. I don’t like having to endure their 20-minute cell phone conversations as they hog a bench for the entirety of the call and finish perhaps one set. (And somehow, they miraculously continue to talk during the set itself. Now that’s what I call hard training!) Luckily for these schmucks, I’m a nice guy. I’ve heard anecdotes of hardcore meatheads flinging 10-pound weight plates like Frisbees in retaliation for poor gym etiquette. While this type of behavior is of course inexcusable (and probably a misdemeanor), I sympathize with their frustrations. For those that wish to avoid the wrath of 280-pound gym gorillas, or just the embarrassment of being glared at, please read on to learn the basics of proper gym etiquette.
If a trainee has perspired on the equipment, he or she should wipe it down with cleaning solution afterward. This is as simple as spraying some solution on a towel and giving the piece of equipment a quick once-over. It literally takes seconds. The only exception to this rule is if one is flirting with Elaine Benes during their set. She finds the left-behind sweat to be an indicator of sexual interest. (While we’re on Seinfeld references, peeing in the gym shower is also a no-no, unless you’re George Costanza).
Cell phones shouldn’t be used on the gym floor. Some folks are understandably paranoid about having their photo taken and engaging in a conversation is usually distracting to the trainee and everyone else. A good workout requires focus. If a call must be taken, step outside.
Don’t hog equipment or multiple sets of dumbbells. If someone asks to work in, be accommodating. I realize this can be a pain in the ass sometimes but, as my mother always said, we should treat others how we’d like to be treated ourselves. For the trainee that absolutely must use every piece of equipment and every weight in the gym, work out when gym traffic is at its lowest. This arrangement will work better for everybody.
Don’t act like a tool. Unless one is in a hardcore bodybuilding gym, making excessive noise, cursing, headbanging, slamming weights, etc. just looks stupid. Respect the other people at the gym and respect the equipment. Oh, and trainees absolutely need to place the weights back on their respective racks once they are done with them. Just because I can deadlift 500 pounds doesn’t mean that the 70-year-old grandpa using the equipment after me can. Again, it’s a pain in the ass, but if I’m strong enough to lift all that weight, I’m certainly strong enough to put it back in its proper place.
Lastly, dress appropriately. This doesn’t mean one can’t try to look sexy or whatever, but wear appropriate footwear (no open toed shoes or heels) and try not to show excessive skin either—meaning I don’t want to see some dude’s left testicle falling out of his shorts, or a Janet Jackson-style wardrobe malfunction.
Use these easy-to-follow tips and enjoy improving your health without risking embarrassment or becoming a victim of aggravated assault. “The more you know…”?