Horoscopes for the week of 3/27

From Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
You may think that you’re amusing your friends with your brash attitude, but you’re really causing too much drama and they’re getting tired of it.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Remaining anonymous in this world isn’t difficult. But be wary of submitting to the everyday slog. When you give up the power to advocate for yourself, you can get lost in the shuffle.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Branch out this week and try something new. I’ve been watching “Chopped” and it seems like the consensus is that goat is the new pork. Have you ever had goat?

Cancer (June 22-July 22)
This week, your highway of life probably feels a little bumpy. It’s time to wake up those sleepy eyes and take the wheel back before you completely drift off course.

Leo (July 23-August 22)
You’ve always been voracious about something. But don’t forget, with each new task, find ways to be humble. Even if you’re the best knitter you know.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
You’re going to feel a little condemned this week. Whether or not you’re paying the price for the crime you committed, don’t let yourself get bogged down in the prison of the soul.

Libra (September 23- October 23)
Remember that sticking your hands in the honeypot may feel like a good solution at the time, but if you stick your hand in too often, there’ll be nothing left when you really need it.

Scorpio (October 24-November 21)
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel like a legend. The issue here is that a legend is something you become, not something you achieve just by showing up.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Being falsely accused of hitting on anything with a pulse, you find yourself in a position this week of rethinking your tactics in social interaction. You control your destiny and libido.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Through all your life, you feel as though you’ve known your place, “The Force Awakens” has caused you to re-assess where you are. But what if neither being Jedi nor Sith is really the answer?

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
You’ve spent a lot of time trying to design a perfect life for yourself; but that problematic staircase to heaven is weathering over time and can make some of those steps unstable.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Taking pride in your work is never a bad thing. But bragging excessively can diminish the rewards of said venture.