Aries
(March 21–April 19)
I know you feel like you blew your chance on something big this week. Well, take comfort in the old adage being true: When Cthulhu closes a door, somewhere they open a portal.
Taurus
(April 20–May 20)
The problem you’ve been facing that seems insurmountable might be worked through if you can take a look behind the curtain, like Dorothy. There’s always someone in control somewhere, and they’re not always benevolent.
Gemini
(May 21–June 20)
When I’m feeling down, I always decompress with a nice bubble bath. This week, you might need to heed that advice and grab the ole rubber ducky. You’ll find that there’s nothing better.
Cancer
(June 21–July 22)
Treat yourself this week to some hard-earned pizza. Whether you’ve been craving it or you’re just sick of homemade soup and rice, this is a good moment to treat yourself if the means are available.
Leo
(July 23–Aug. 22)
Seeking approval from others is a horrible way to get things done. What you need to do this week is reach deep inside your heart and look to yourself for approval instead of looking for it in external sources.
Virgo
(Aug. 23–Sept. 22)
Following the golden rule of respect will come in handy this week when you find that some people have trouble respecting boundaries and others don’t know how to draw them.
Libra
(Sept. 23–Oct. 22)
You can’t lead a revolution without an idea of what you’re trying to revolutionize. A mission statement with clear goals will open the path to you that has remained obscured until now.
Scorpio
(Oct. 23–Nov. 21)
You could choose either the road less traveled or the road well worn as you’re under no obligation to either follow the crowd or blaze your own trail. Choose for you, no one else.
Sagittarius
(Nov. 22–Dec. 21)
Take care of your plants this week with plenty of water and food, or not much water if you’ve just gotten a cactus. See what flourishes when you really make the effort.
Capricorn
(Dec. 22–Jan. 19)
Somebody is blowing smoke in your eyes this week, making it hard to see. Grab some eye drops and squint through the fog for your own good.
Aquarius
(Jan. 20–Feb. 18)
Sometimes you feel like the scarecrow from The Wiz, poisoned in spirit and mind by those around you. But an opportunity this week is coming to make a new friend and to get down from that post in the cornfield.
Pisces
(Feb. 19–March 20)
Your desires come to fruition this week, but always be wary of what you desire. What you receive may not be what you actually wanted after all.