Sexy Gal 1:
Have you ever been in an intimate moment and some sort of bodily function arose that disrupted it?
I almost vomited all over some guy I was making out with.
Were you drunk?
Yes.
Did you vomit on them?
No. I ran to the bathroom.
What did it look like?
To be honest, I don’t remember.
What we’re you drinking?
Pabst.
So I guess it was Pabst vomit.
Yes, that would be the logical conclusion.
Did you go back to making out with the person you were with?
No, I did not.
Have you ever made out with somebody who had been vomiting?
Yes, but I didn’t really notice. I had been drinking whiskey and then this guy came over and he said that he had puked, and then we talked for about five minutes and then we started making out. I didn’t taste him because I was really drunk.
Did you find anything in your mouth afterward?
No, I did not. Thank God.
Have you ever been on a date and you had to fart really badly?
I just do it and don’t say anything. If they ask me, I’d tell them yes.
Has that happened before?
No, but I’m pretty sure they knew I farted.
Sexy Guy 1:
Have you ever been in an intimate moment and some sort of bodily function arose that disrupted it?
Well, on my 21st birthday, my friends and I were at a strip club. My friend bought me a lap dance. It was at the very end of the night, I was the last one. Right as she was finishing I stood up, slapped my friend’s 20 down, ran outside and puked on the curb.
Sexy Gal 2:
Have you ever been in an intimate moment and some sort of bodily function arose that disrupted it?
No, but I told this guy I had crabs once.
Do tell.
So there was this guy that I had had sex with. He came to my house later, but I decided I didn’t like him any more so I told him I thought I had crabs, because I thought that would be an easy way out.
But then he was like, “Do I have crabs?” I told him I didn’t know and that he should be able to tell. Then he was all “What do you do to get rid of crabs?” I told him to shave all of your hair and change all your sheets. But then he decided that he needed to shave immediately, so I gave him my dad’s razor. But then he couldn’t reach, and he decided to shave all of it, including the hairs around his butt. He asked if I would help him, so I did.
Did you put your dad’s razor back afterwards?
Yes, it was a non-disposable.
So your dad probably had little bits of fecal matter all over his face.
It was just an innocent lie! I learned my lesson. The next day I even got a huge zit on my nose like Pinocchio for lying. I didn’t want to say something that doesn’t go away like herpes or AIDS.
Why didn’t you tell him you didn’t like him?
Sometimes I panic in extreme situations.
Sexy Guy 2:
Have you ever been in an intimate moment and some sort of bodily function arose that disrupted it?
No, but I was at a club one time and I was dancing with this chick and I knew that I had to let one go, so I just crop-dusted around the dance floor and came back a little bit later and nobody knew it was me.
Did anybody else know?
I don’t think so; at a club there are a lot of people so no one can tell. I just made a motion to her like, “I gotta go grab a beer” and just tooted my way to the bar and came back and she was none the wiser.