You’ve probably read the lists trending online, but here’s one more.
Signs you’re an introvert:
1. You cancel plans. A lot.
2. Your friend: “Wanna hang out?” You, anxious: “Um, no.”
3. People urge you to get out of the house. And pushy people are the reason you don’t want to get out of the house.
4. You’ve been called “too intense.”
5. When you do want to connect with others, you swing by, look around and think, “OK. Enough of that.” You know, like a cat.
Here’s the thing. Introverts have a bad rap. Being introverted doesn’t have anything to do with being shy, unaffectionate wallflowers, or being unable to stand up for ourselves. Being introverted has everything to do with where we find our energy: being alone, rather than interacting with others.
It’s biology. Our amygdala, a part of the brain that manages stimuli, just doesn’t function the same as Honey Boo Boo’s. People exhaust us. Henry David Thoreau wrote in Walden, “To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating.”
Believe it or not, studies suggest more than half of us are introverts and prefer recharging by ourselves, thank you very much. But face it: Since you’re coloring the Os in this newspaper instead of chatting with your classmates, chances are even higher that you’re an introvert.
The first weeks of school involve lots of new people and—sob—small talk, which means you’ll need help more than ever. I’ll be here for you this term, even if it’s just to remind you that you’re in good company.
I’ll explore challenges in student life like networking, roommates, parties, dating and group projects (Hell. Seriously. Hell.). Let’s unite—separately, in our own homes, like the meme says.
But first, let’s take something off the table: No extrovert shaming. Nope. We love extroverts. They’re the entertainers, the ones with clever exchanges and the ones who have something to give when we just need naps. They’re movers and shakers like Steve Jobs, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton and Margaret Thatcher. They also have one major advantage over us: They thrive in social settings, which happen to be pretty much every setting. Interacting in school, business and relationships is pretty unavoidable.
But remember, introverts can also be wildly successful: Bill Gates, J.K. Rowling, Mark Zuckerberg and Barack Obama all made their marks, and if they can do it, we can too.