March (metal) madness

March 20

Anal Cunt, Kill the Client, Bung and El Cerdo at the Hawthorne Theatre

“Hey, what show are you going to see tonight?”

“Oh, you know, Kill the Client, El Cerdo, Anal Cunt, just the standard mood music.”

“Anal Cunt?!? Really?”

“Yeah, I really like that song by them called ‘I Sent Concentration Camp Footage To America’s Funniest Home Videos.’ It really defines my life.”

“…uhhhhhhhh.”

“Just kidding dude, I just wanna fart in that fat asshole’s face.”

“Yeah!”

(high-fives ensue)

Just imagine! You could have the above conversation on March 20! The truth is that Anal Cunt is a big joke, and front man Seth Putnam is just a really big asshole. Go watch local opener El Cerdo tear it up with their tech-metal assault, because they are actually a good band, but Anal Cunt are, as they say, for the birds.

March 21

Red Sparowes, Saviours and William Elliot Whitmore at the Hawthorne Theatre

Post-rock isn’t a dead scene yet, but at the rate like-minded bands are multiplying themselves, it soon will be. Red Sparowes are one of the more active post-rock bands to come out in recent years. Yes, they make sweeping melodic songs with the quiet/loud thing down pat, but they also have more dynamism and power than your average band that is taking the Mogwai thing too far. Seeing Red Sparowes live is a unique auditory and visual experience because they combine raw found film footage and their own moving and cinematic soundscapes into a total package. Boring this band is not. Also on the bill are vaguely Viking-like metal dudes Saviours (fans of High on Fire take note) and classic rock lover William Elliot Whitmore. Diverse billings sink or swim, but this show looks like some thought was put into it.

March 28

Mastodon, Priestess, and Mouth of the Architect at the Hawthorne Theatre

Mastodon is still touring like crazy after the release of their first record out of the indies, Blood Mountain. The album shows Mastodon at their prog-inflected, yet irresistibly catchy, best. Priestess also writes great songs, though they mainly sound like Black Sabbath with a little bit of a modern-twist. Openers Mouth of the Architect is slower, longer and way, way more spaced out. Defined by long sludge-metal songs with tons of swirling melodies to share, MOTA seem like a good match for the more mainstream proclivities of the other bands.

March 29

Kylesa, Genghis Tron, Black Elk at Satyricon

In metal bands, doubling up on instruments is generally an accepted way of adding heft to your sound. Having two drummers however seems like overkill, even for a doomy sludge-metal band. Kylesa don’t really need two drummers, but it is kind of a cool novelty. On tour with Kylesa is drum-machine grinders Genghis Tron, who besides having a ridiculously awesome name, also pumps out some serious jams. The music is fast and heavy, with pummeling guitar noise and odd bits of synthesizer beatdowns. One could imagine a cyborg frothing at the mouth in rabid bloodlust as the backdrop for Genghis Tron’s audio maxim. This bill also features local openers Black Elk, in what will be their first show back from their Texas tour. Overall, this entire bill is solid as hell with forward-thinking heavy music being amplified by all of the bands.