Men are easy

No couple can last without it and every single person lives in fear of it; the ever-ominous status talk will either take a relationship to new heights or send it flying like projectile vomit into the toilet.

We’ve all had the status talk. It’s the discussion that takes place when one person in a dating relationship is unhappy with the level of commitment between the two persons involved.

Although we’ve all had the status talk, not everyone getting ready to give the talk is actually ready to do the talking. Here is a little insight for those of you wondering how the talk is going to effect the current relationship you are trying to get out of, or are almost in and want to take to the next level.

First of all, a couple may have the status talk many times throughout their relationship. It’s healthy to want confirmation that the object of your infatuation is crazy about you in return.

The most important thing to know when preparing to give the talk is the most difficult to figure out. You have to know what you want from the relationship. If you are not sure of what you want, your partner can’t give it to you and things will be left as is. Meanwhile, you grow more unnervingly unhappy by the second. You must know what you can turn down and what you can accept.

If you are a free-spirited single person who sees nothing wrong with dating multiple people concurrently, it will be difficult to accept it when one decides to bring you home to Mom and Dad and start referring to you as girlfriend (or boyfriend, as the case may be).

Contrarily, you may find that you want a commitment and your partner wants to continue sleeping with other people. In a situation like this, you have to know -can you or can you not accept this?

One thing that almost always comes up in the first status talk is the lineup. Everyone wants to know how many – how many he or she is sleeping with or has had sex with.

Never underestimate the power of your batting average.

Additionally, it is imperative to understand that the numbers have different meanings to different people. Every person has a number in mind that would be too high or too low. Some people would prefer to have a partner who is nearly untouched, almost virginal. Others don’t want to play the teacher.

Before asking your partner to reveal the magic number, evaluate how it would affect your feelings toward them if they were to say a number you didn’t like. Once again, it’s all about acceptance. What number can you accept?

Something else to think about when debating whether or not to have the talk is the possibility of … the end.

Once you are sure of what you want (and don’t want), your partner is going to have to decide whether or not they can accept the guidelines. It is not a one-way street here. If you want a commitment and your partner does not, they are probably going to call the whole thing off. You could be stuck with no boyfriend and no booty call, completely sexually frustrated. Are you ready to deal with that?

In closing, it’s only fair to say that the status talk is really just a glorified negotiation process. Each person needs to give to get or just get out. It is never going to be fun and I would estimate that at least 94 percent of all relationships end because of the talk.

My advice is this: only have the talk if you are at your wits’ end. If you think you can stay where you are in the relationship without going mad, it is in your best interest to let thing progress slowly, if at all. In my experience, having the talk too early will only ruin things.

On the other hand, you could get exactly what you want, and that is why we have the talk in the first place. There is a chance, if only slight, that you could end up happier than ever with the relationship of your dreams. But that usually only happens in movies, and we are not living in Hollywood.