OkCupid is a free dating website that has been growing in popularity among the college student community. The site is inviting, easy to use and highly entertaining. It is a fun and interesting way to meet new people and, just maybe, the love of your life.
But this is still the Internet. And as we all know, when we deal with the Internet, we find people who can make us lose all hope for humanity. Here are a few simple tips on how not to become one of those people.
The very first thing users see when they visit your profile, when you send them a message or when you are matched with them, is your profile picture.
Now, I understand why you might not have any good pictures or why you might not want to show your face. I have seen many profiles with pictures of the person’s silhouette, chin or chest. I have also seen a sad amount of profile pictures of just the guy’s abs. If you’re looking for a fling and you happen to be into abs, he might be the right guy for you. But guys, if you’re looking for something besides casual sex, show your face.
A good profile pic should show your face and not much else. It should be a truthful representation of how you look during an average day. And most of all, you should smile. I know, smiling in pictures can feel cheesy, but a relaxed face can look like a glaring expression in a picture (not to mention unwelcoming and uninteresting), and it is likely that you will be passed by. This is your first impression, so make the most of it!
The first part of your profile is your “self-summary.” Almost everyone has problems with this part. After all, every person is a complex individual. But don’t begin your profile by complaining. Stay positive and try to take it seriously. Remember that the point of a profile is to give information about yourself. So although it’s difficult, the thing to do is to give it your best shot. In a nutshell, try to describe yourself and what you’re interested in.
The next section—“What I’m doing with my life”—is very important. Answers such as “Just chillin,” “figuring myself out” and “going wherever life takes me” are less than impressive. Even if you are currently doing absolutely nothing with your life, you should at least own up to it. Explain that you are stuck right now but also talk about some future goals.
Mentioning what you’re looking for is always a plus, but take care not to be hurtful. “I’ve seen my share of size-ist remarks in people’s profiles, and I don’t like that,” said senior Laura Lines. “Comments like, ‘If you’re not a certain body type, then we can only be friends,’ or, ‘I hate fat people’ can really be hurtful.”
Speaking of messages, you will soon find that messages from people can be one of the most entertaining and confusing parts of using a dating site. The funniest messages are ridiculously over the top. I once received a long, heartfelt message from a guy explaining why we are soul mates. I’ve also received a poem. But usually, I end up with messages like the following:
“O hai!!!! Sup??????????? My name is [name here]. I like long walks on the beach, blah blah blah blah. I’m freaking bored. Its Friday night, but I have to work at 10am, thus, I probably am not going out tonight. UGH! LAMENESS!!!! What chu doing? lol.”
All too often, you will receive messages from people who have obviously not read your profile. Before you message someone, you should read his or her entire profile and compare answers to the matching questions. Filling out these questions is fun, and it can tell you a lot about a person. You can also discover if there are any major conflicts. For example, if you are a smoker, and they say they will not date anyone who smokes, there is definitely a problem.
People who message you after reading your profile but ignore what it says are equally frustrating. Do not message people if there is obviously a conflict. It wastes your time and theirs.
One of the great things about OkCupid is that you can tell if someone is there for casual sex. Not only does it specifically indicate this tidbit at the bottom of his or her profile, but you can also tell from the person’s answers to match questions like, “Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date?” and “Do you enjoy meaningless sex?”
Sites like OkCupid can be a problem for the LGBT community because some people can be misleading when they discuss their sexuality.
Senior Allison Ehly has trouble finding women who are sincerely interested in women on OkCupid. “The trouble with people who list themselves as bisexual, particularly women, is that they’re sometimes doing it for attention from the opposite sex,” she said. “So it’s a risk to sincerely approach someone like that. It makes you wonder if you’re welcome or if you’re just wasting your time.”
It’s important to be truthful about your sexual orientation and intentions and about yourself generally. Misleading others will only lead to hurt, confusion and, as Allison correctly says, a waste of everyone’s time.