The female orgasm seems to be an unending topic of inconclusive research. Solemn male scientists pop up every so often to let people know about some new discovery regarding women’s climax, only to have another study come out a few years later claiming the opposite.
Luckily, there are some reputable facts surrounding those illustrious lady fireworks. Psychology Today unfavorably reveals that one of the most important factors in achieving that ultimate finish is a simple one: Orgasms aren’t about intercourse.
As unsurprising as this is to many women and bloodcurdling as it is to many men, having vaginal intercourse has nothing to do with most ladies’ ability to reach the big O. About 80 years of research and 33 studies have shown that only around one in four women
consistently achieve orgasm during vaginal intercourse alone.
Let’s say the female orgasm is like a pizza: With intercourse alone, you’d only be eating two slices, letting the other six go limp in the box. To reach those other slices, you’re going to have to get a little more involved and inventive than just good old-fashioned missionary.
The first step in satisfying a woman is remembering that it’s not how big a penis is, where you stick it or how you thrust it, it’s all about the foreplay that isn’t happening. What many people think of as foreplay is actually the main course for a majority of women, and frankly, we’re getting hungry.
According to Woman’s Day Magazine, it’s also crucial to give women the time they need. It takes 20 minutes for most women to peak, so be prepared for it to take a while. Again, this doesn’t mean you need to keep pounding that vagina in frustration. Guys don’t need to learn to last for hours to satisfy their partners, though that can certainly be fun, too.
Whether you’re a dashing broad who’s having trouble cresting that peak or just a regular Jane going through a rough spot, it’s probably time to mix things up. Head over to She Bop in Southeast Portland and get one of those crazy vibrators that you’ve always been too scared to buy; get a funny costume and role-play; buy some candles and set some serious mood music for an evening in—just stop expecting that what works for men is going to work for women. We’re built differently, and that beautiful crescendo takes a few special strokes to really sing.