Portland show bookers: Hello, McFly, anybody home?

If you’re like me, you spend a few minutes a week perusing music websites, reading news bits and seeing when tours are announced. Personally, I believe this to be far superior to thumbing through the Mercurys and Willamette Weeks found on every street corner, because I can do it in bed and I like having my news the minute it’s released to the press.

The downside to this is that we get to see the outright laziness of our city. You see, when a band confers with their record label and a tour routing is announced, it gets snatched up by local bookers/promoters. Then, when a substantial number of those dates are spoken for, the dates are released to the public.

That sounds pretty cool until you realize that there is always—and by always, I mean 98 percent of the time—a gap in between San Francisco and Seattle/Vancouver, British Columbia. As a music fan and rooted resident of Portland, I used to throw my hands up in the air and cuss. Now I just kind of go “Pffft, of course.” Then I roll my eyes, even if nobody is around.

LCD Soundsystem and Hot Chip are coming through town, or at least logic would suggest that they are. But lo, LCD and Hot Chip play San Francisco on October 17—then, what’s this? They have two days off, and then they play…Salt Lake City? I thought we, as a city, were supposed to be all hip and cutting edge. Salt Lake City is beating us now? Which reminds me—is there someone in Portland who is worried about losing money on this show? Is someone out there afraid of jumping the gun because they might not make their money back off two of the biggest electronic rock bands in the world? What gives?

You can’t be serious, Portland. Salt Lake City? Should I just move there instead? Should we all? Portland is lauded around the nation as being this hip Mecca, and now we’re losing out to Utah? What’s the sound of one hand clapping…a forehead?