Rise of the robot unicorns

The original Robot Unicorn Attack, released in 2010 as a flash game and later ported to mobile platforms, became an immediate smash hit by virtue of its eccentric aesthetic, falling somewhere between childlike wonderment and the Lisa Frank layer of hell.

If the sickeningly cute visuals weren’t enough, the game’s main theme song, “Always” by Erasure, was an injection of poppy ’80s exuberance that never stopped playing and urged you to keep going. Few could have guessed from outward appearances that what lay beneath was in fact a hellish endless-runner-style game that demanded perfection.

In this regard, little of Robot Unicorn Attack 2’s core experience has changed from its predecessor.

You’re still a literal robot unicorn running endlessly from left to right collecting fairies and tears. You’re still tapping the left or right side of the screen to jump or dash and avoiding all the various pitfalls and obstacles that could end your run. You’re still chasing that high score by running as far as possible.

That being said, developer PikPok was not idle in its update to the series.

One potentially controversial change is that the game has gone free-to-play. Unfortunately, this means that the game is rife with microtransactions: Tears are the game’s currency and can be picked up either during your run or by ranking up.

Ranking up is done by completing challenges during your runs, such as collecting 20 fairies or slaying a particular number of giants. Tears are most commonly used to acquire boosts before runs.

Boosts are items that slightly augment your unicorn’s abilities during your allotted three lives, or “wishes,” of a given run. Once you have died three times and the run is over, you’ll need to purchase new boosts for your next run.

Certain boosts are critical to success, such as the Collection Vacuum Boost, which draws collectible items like fairies and tears toward you. Even with the Collection Vacuum Boost equipped, it is not unreasonable to eventually feel as though you are not breaking even on the number of tears you’ve collected versus the number you need to keep dumping into your boosts.

It doesn’t help that your rank-up challenges are sometimes overly difficult or just plain beyond your ability, forcing you to use tears in order to skip the especially tricky challenges. This hinders experimentation with the boost mechanic and made me feel as though I were being not-so-subtly nudged toward the “pay real money for tears” button, when in fact there are better things you could be spending your money on in Robot Unicorn Attack 2.

The default music in Robot Unicorn Attack 2 is catchy, but let us be very clear about one thing: it is not “Always” by Erasure. The good news is that you can unlock “Always.” The bad news is that you’ll have to dole out 99 cents to do so.

While not having the song that was arguably one of the most memorable parts of the original game available from the get-go is annoying, PikPok gets some credit for including other equally choice musical picks for purchase, such as “The NeverEnding Story” by Limahl.

You can also play dress-up, if the idea of guiding a robotic unicorn through a land inhabited by unicorn-whales and fairies isn’t enough to sate your thirst for all things “kawaii.” The actual in-game term is “customization,” and by spending tears you can unlock various skins and accessories for your unicorn.

Most of these unlock-able items have beneficial qualities, such as allowing you to accelerate more quickly or fly once you have reached top speed. Yes, Robot Unicorn Attack 2 encourages you to equip your unicorn with wings that allow it to fly. No, it does not acknowledge the difference between a unicorn and Pegasus, nor does it make any attempt to explain the hybridization of the two—truly a missed opportunity.

For some befuddling reason, Robot Unicorn Attack 2 includes two online factions. Players choose their faction (either Team Inferno or Team Rainbow) after they have reached a certain level. The two teams compete in daily challenges, and the winning team receives tears as a reward.

While fascinating in theory, the entire concept seems a little half-baked since Team Inferno has been dominating Team Rainbow for the past week with no end in sight. This raises the question of balance and why someone just new to the game would join Team Rainbow if the squad is perpetually getting its unicorn ass kicked.

Perhaps in the future joining the flagging team will be incentivized. Until then, it’s a choice between the Harlem Globetrotters and the Washington Generals.

The game controls very well­—when it does. Touch screen controls are notoriously finicky when it comes to twitch inputs, which are a big part of Robot Unicorn Attack 2. On rare occasions I experienced jump or dash inputs that simply did not register.

Unfortunately, in a game like this, a missed input is an immediate death. Besides a few dropped taps here and there, though, the game handles buttery smooth.

I found Robot Unicorn Attack 2 to be a wonderful game for a commute. Each run is liable to take less than 10 minutes, and the sheer joyful spectacle contained therein is bound to block out the harsh realities of public transit.

But Robot Unicorn Attack 2 is more than that. It’s great fun spending a half an hour here or there listening to the quirky music, picking out all of the hidden details and just generally feeling awesome when you break through that wall and reach totally new ground.