Ryan Hume

Saddam Hussein has long been the United States’ whipping boy. If history has shown us anything, it is that Mr. Hussein is not only a ruthless dictator with a questionably high approval rating, 110 percent, but also an evil genius who has controlled and manipulated the United States government against our knowledge for a very long time. He is quite possibly the Antichrist, covering the sign of the beast with a multitude of strategically placed berets.

Saddam’s control of governmental policies and departments has spanned at least two decades of monstrous legislation and opinion in our homeland, and has lead some of our greatest leaders to submit to some of the most horrific acts of foreign policy they never would have imagined completing had they not been under the influence of the single most evil mind to ever enter into international politics.

Point in case: Between 1980 and 1988, the United States, under the infallible eye of Ronald Reagan, supported the Iraqi invasion of neighboring Iran, vetoing all U.N. Security Counsel resolutions to condemn the invasion. The U.S. then removed Iraq from its list of potential terrorist nations and begins to supply the Iraqi army with weapons and military intelligence. In 1985, Reagan, realizing he had been had by this evil genius, secretly began selling weapons to Iran to counteract the damage he has done to Justice: a proud moment in U.S. history we now refer to as the Iran-Contra Affair.

Reagan, thinking of us, the American people, had to sell these weapons in secret, for if word got back to Baghdad of what we were up to, there surely would have been an Iraqi invasion of the United States, possibly crushing our mighty military with his weapons of mass destruction.

Then in 1988, Hussein kills thousands of Kurds, using chemical weapons against his own population, and the U.S., helpless against its greatest enemy, could only increase its economic ties with Iraq.

In a brief moment of clarity in 1990, President George Bush I tried to release Hussein’s iron grip on U.S. foreign policy by standing up to Iraqi aggression and condemning the invasion of Kuwait. Resisting all efforts by the U.N. to end this conflict diplomatically, Bush finally made a stand against the Prince of Darkness by beginning the Gulf War. Sadly, Hussein was too strong for us and he remained in power. Bush then tried placing economic sanctions against Iraq, which only strengthened Hussein’s power, raising his approval rating from a mere 99.9 percent to his overwhelming 110 percent.

Infuriated by this development, the U.S. refused to help Iraqi rebels overthrow Saddam’s regime and sat by while hundreds of thousands of civilians died by the deplorable conditions created by these economic sanctions.

In 1998, Saddam Hussein forced President Bill Clinton to receive fellatio from White House intern Monica Lewinsky, then leaked this information to the press. Clinton, realizing that he has been the target of an Iraqi-led smear campaign, bombed Iraq under the pretense of weapon-inspection issues, even though the U.N. Security Counsel was just about to meet to discuss this issue. Clinton has yet to recover from this lapse in morality concocted by the evil madman.

Will we ever be free of this monster of world politics? It would seem as of late that Saddam Hussein has extended his reach into the United States political system by dominating multinational corporations, as well. Secret meetings held between Iraqi officials and the board members of Enron and WorldCom are painting an interesting picture of the susceptibility of corporations to outside authority. The Arthur Andersen accounting firm is believed to be readying a statement in the near future blaming all of the accounting mishaps upon Iraqi aggression.

In fact, it is quite possible that Saddam Hussein is behind the disastrous American economic crisis that has been plaguing the current Bush administration. And in view of last week’s landslide election in Iraq, I ask you, when will it all end?