Spike TV hits and misses with ‘Pros vs. Joes’

For every highbrow professional athlete there are countless armchair quarterbacks. The new Spike TV show “Pros vs. Joes” gives wannabes the chance to test themselves against real athletes.

The show gives average, stupid and arrogant Spike TV enthusiasts a chance to challenge some very famous sports legends. The list includes but is not limited to Dennis Rodman, Jim McMahon, Matt Williams, Bo Jackson, Rebecca Lobo, Bill Romanowski, Brandi Chastain, Clyde Drexler, Herschell Walker, Dominique Wilkens, John Rocker, Jennie Finch, Karl Malone, Bill Goldberg and the incomparable Jerry Rice.

The show doesn’t joke. These pros don’t hold anything back in disgracing, destroying, demolishing and whittling down the Joes into nothing but stationary objects on the field. Put up or shut up is the motto the pros take, and after the first half an hour the Joes might as well choose the latter.

Jerry Rice, at 44-years-old, burned and beat down the poor Joes trying to defend him. Dennis Rodman elbowed and boxed out his opponents trying to snag rebounds from the two-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year who also owns seven rebound titles.

The Joes compete for $20,000, as advertised on television or season tickets to their favorite sports team, as advertised online. Not a bad prize either way for humiliating yourself on national television. Competing against the pros in five categories the Joe with the most wins walks with the money. A win consists of accomplishing a task or more tasks than the other competitors.

Guts and glory are the true driving forces of this game show, not to mention telling friends Jerry Rice is really as amazing as all of his records indicate. The fans are between the ages of 25-45, expected to be athletic, sports fans and ready for anything. With all the ridiculous shows in the world one can just imagine one of these Joes: a loud, obnoxious, overconfident frat-boy with little else to do but dream that if only given the chance he would be just as successful.

“Pros vs. Joes” compares too many different reality series such as “Survivor,” “Fear Factor” and “Real World/Road Rules Challenge.” Yet, the show it draws the most closeness too is “American Idol.” The pros being the judges and the Joes the contestants. They are brutally demoralized by the pros but still have to continue to perform well to win. Happily though there is no scowling Simon Cowbell or cliche machine Randy Jackson.

The show as a whole is not very well put together. However, the inherent hilarity of regular Joes attempting challenges against much better athletes is great. Seeing these arrogant losers, who used to take your lunch money and stuff you in lockers, put in their place is a sight to behold.

The show kicked off by letting nine fans take three swings each against John Rocker, former pitcher and big-mouthed moron. Now his 100 mph fastball might have deteriorated but don’t be fooled, his ball is still pretty unhittable to an amateur. Recently on ESPN’s “Cold Pizza” the ex-pitcher stormed off the set when informed he would have to discuss the racist comments he made a few years ago that were heard round the world. Nothing has changed for Rocker, except that he can now only rock Joes.

The show airs Mondays at 10 p.m. on Spike TV and re-airs Thursdays at 11 p.m. There will be 10 amusing episodes ranging in all kinds of sports. So if you enjoy hard hitting, bad slugging, ball-shagging, dirty rebounding and pure disgrace of big-headed sports fans, don’t miss “Pros vs. Joes.”