The Grammar Grouch: Commas

Commas are a handy device for inserting pauses in your text. A Portland State Clown College Bozo, however, often overuses commas and makes a page look as though an upended peppershaker spilled all over the text.

Commas are a handy device for inserting pauses in your text. A Portland State Clown College Bozo, however, often overuses commas and makes a page look as though an upended peppershaker spilled all over the text.

Sometimes, a comma separates a transitional word from the sentence itself. You’ll notice the previous sentence did just that—the Grouch knows a “Bozo see, Bozo do” teaching style will be more effective than actual explanations.

The most frustrating use of commas, is when you see one used as it was in this sentence. That comma in no way needs to be there. While some of us listened in kindergarten writing classes and heard that commas are used to separate clauses, future Bozos were busy passing notes or playing with pogs and will randomly set commas between ideas, then wonder why they earned poor marks. Life is a constant struggle for the Bozos.

Another use, and a use that you’ll notice if, since I assume you have already read them, you reread a Harry Potter novel is how regularly J.K. Rowling, who is certainly a respectable author, albeit with fault in regards to her comma enthusiasm, likes to use what I call hook-and-string sentences. The previous sentence is an example of trying to mash a lot of thoughts into a single sentence, using commas to punctuate the introduction of them all just to make one or two points. The commas serve as “hooks” to divert your attention, with the ending clause drawing a “string” through those hooks and bringing those thoughts come together to form the point.

I’m sure most Bozos stopped reading when that sentence overloaded them. For those who could actually follow along, do your best to only use several commas if your writing is well-organized enough to pull off hook-and-string usage. Otherwise, stop ruining your writing with unnecessary commas and separate yourself from the Bozos.