To the satisfaction of everyone other than gambling addicts andESPN programmers, former J-Lo fling and failed actor Ben Affleck’s$365,000 victory over 90 “professional” poker players in the June20 California State Poker Championship definitively proved poker isnot a sport.
The debate over whether poker was a sport or a recreationalactivity had recently grown heated as numerous poker televisionshows and bestsellers dominated the sports world, despite manypeople’s concerns that the game belongs there about as much asbeach volleyball belongs in the Summer Olympics. Sports enthusiastsaround the world thanked Affleck for saving them from the ominousfuture that could have been had poker gained acceptance as asport…
Bob Costas, reporting to you live from a hushed, smoke-filledroom at the 2012 Summer Olympics, where hundreds have gathered tosee whether crowd favorite Johnny Chan’s pair of kings can hold upagainst Howard Lederer’s inside straight draw to win the first goldmedal ever awarded in poker…
When asked how it felt to finally have contributed to the humanrace after numerous notable failed attempts including “Gigli,””Jersey Girl” and “Pearl Harbor,” a relieved Affleck responded, “Iguess this means I can call Matt and tell him to stop writing asequel to ‘Good Will Hunting.'”