This Independent Week

Cinema 21
616 N.W. 21st Ave. 503-223-4515

"Nobody Knows" 7, 9:30 also (1), 4 Sat.-Sun.
In this heart-rending tale, four children are forced to take care of themselves after their mother abandons them. Utilizing an almost documentary-style film technique, this chronicle of Blair, Tootie, Natalie and Jo, as they struggle against the iron-fisted regime of resident dictator Mrs. Garrett, is unnerving in its realism. Features a hauntingly moving score by Canadian composer Alan Thicke.

"Spike & Mike’s Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation" 11:30 Fri.-Sat.
I suppose Spike & Mike (whoever the fuck they are) will continue to churn out this tepid buttbiscuit of an animation festival as long as there are meat-headed chunderfucks who think words like "chunderfuck" and "buttbiscuit" are funny.

2021 S.E. Hawthorne Blvd. 503-231-7919

"Ray" 5:30, 8:15
An Academy Awards darling, this film is experiencing a slight renaissance since people realized that Ray Charles is not, in fact, played by Jamie Kennedy ("Malibu’s Most Wanted," "Bongwater"), but rather Jamie Foxx ("Shaq’s All Star Comedy Roast 2").

Clinton St. Theater
2522 S.E. Clinton St. 503-238-8899

"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" 7
Well, I suppose you could honor the work of late gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson by seeing this film, but I think a far better tribute would be to bump five rails of coke, toss back about eight martinis, ride the snake, shit all over yourself and then write about your own experience chasing the American dream. Who knows? You could end up with a doctorate and an English teaching position at PSU!

"Natural Born Killers" 9:30
This satire of the media and our perceptions of violence is ridiculously stupid. Don’t go see it. Seriously, you’re better than that. Or are you?

Fifth Avenue Cinemas
2136 S.W. Fifth Ave.

"Imagining Home: Stories of Columbia Villa" 7 Fri.-Sat.
A look at the New Columbia urban renewal project and its effects on the 1,300 residents of what was Columbia Villa.

Guild Theatre
829 S.W. Ninth Ave. 503-221-1156

Coming March 11: Noir City

6712 S.E. Milwaukie Ave. 503-236-5257

"Sideways" 5:30, 8:05
A triumph of the human soul, "Sideways" follows the life and times of a man with a rare form of penile dysfunction and his quest for the perfect hand job. He eventually finds it (and true love) in an albino hooker with a crooked hand. This film is titillating, vivacious and a testament to the excruciating anguish I experience every week when I have to come up with something to say about this yuppie wet dream of a movie.

Roseway Theater
7229 N.E. Sandy (503) 287-8119

"Hitch" 5:30, 8, also 3 Sat.
Dear Hitch, thank you for delivering me gently into the loving arms of mackdaddyness. Since I saw your film, my virile man-tool has not been made to wait long for its sensual appetite-whetting, and I find myself steadily embarking on the sexiest journeys imaginable. Please continue to spread your message, so that other man-lovers may drink from the fruit of eternal erotic pleasuring.

Whitsell Auditorium
1219 S.W. Park Ave. 503-221-1156

Coming March 11- Noir City