This Saturday, get ready to stand out in the cold for hours with hundreds of other fools, get hoarded into a bar like cattle and be bombarded with personal and possibly embarrassing questions by complete strangers whose job it is to judge you.
It might sound horrible, but it won’t be without a purpose–it will be to get on the motherfucking Real World.
Being on The Real World is a life-changing experience where for five months you can escape from your life of drinking and having sex with 20-somethings to go drink and have sex with 20-somethings … on TV!
Are you ready to join the ranks of famous Real World alums like, um, that naked girl that drank so much she almost died? Or that guy that slapped that one girl? Yes? Good.
The open casting call for the 21st season will take place at The City Sports Bar (424 S.W. Fourth Ave.), Saturday, Feb. 2 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. And sorry, you “non-traditional” students, but you are too old. Only people ages 18 to 24 can audition. It has not yet been announced where the 21st season will take place.
You might already have some ideas about how you will get on the show. Maybe you will lie and say you are a bisexual, straight-edge Muslim. Maybe you will dress up in a banana costume and do a little dance. Maybe you will try to sleep with a casting director.
Chances are these tactics won’t work.
Damon Furberg, supervising casting director for The Real World, says tricks that people try at their auditions are rarely successful.
“Some people think there is some sort of code they can crack,” Furberg said.
There have been an inordinate number of auditioners who think dressing up in costumes will get them a better shot at stardom, Furberg said, but really all it will do is make the interview staff uncomfortable.
For some reason there is a running theme at auditions where people show up dressed only in animal-print underwear, Furberg observed. But that’s not the only weird thing people do. Furberg said there was one person who submitted a video where they crammed their entire body into a dollhouse and another who strapped themselves to a giant plastic moose.
And I know you are thinking: “Where can I get myself a giant plastic moose?” I am one step ahead of you. But sadly, a quick Google images search for “giant plastic moose” resulted only in a giant plastic duck and, for some reason, a picture of Tom Cruise’s bulge.
Furberg said one of the saddest things he sees is when a perfectly interesting person feels the need to perform for him and other casting directors.
What really attracts Real World staff is honesty, people who are willing to discover things about themselves and share every bit of pain and joy in their life with strangers. It’s a rite of passage for many who grew up watching the show that started 16 years ago.
“It’s like running away to join the circus,” Furberg said. “I think it’s replaced that as sort of the fantasy thing to do as a young adult.”
This year The Real World is looking for “activists” involved with political, social or environmental issues, to put on the show. Maybe they are trying to clean up their commonly perceived image as a trash den for skanky, alcoholic maniacs by casting more people of substance. Or maybe they will just find some skanky alcoholic environmentalists. Only time will tell.
The interview process to get on The Real World sounds horrific. To get on the show, you have to go to the open casting (or submit a video), sit in a group interview, do hours of one-on-one interviews, fill out a very long application with 16 to 17 essay questions about almost every detail of your life and then travel to L.A. for even more interviews.
This only adds to my theory that The Real World is actually a training program for secret government agents.
It takes three to four months to cast a Real World show, and the process just started for the 21st season. If you can’t make it to the open casting, you can–for the first time ever–submit online video auditions.
Oregon has been underrepresented on The Real World, so go to the audition and make your city proud by acting vapid and foolish. Or don’t. If you want to get famous, you can always go with the less-demeaning option: porn.
Tips for your audition
From Supervising Casting Director Damon Furberg
1. Don’t be intimidated
Everyone has an equal chance. Just because you think you are boring doesn’t mean the casting director will.
2. Be honest
Lying to get on the show will rarely work. The Real World shoots for four to five months, and keeping a character up for that long would be impossible, even for Daniel Day Lewis.
3. Do it for the right reasons
If you want to get on the show to try and subvert it, it will probably just make you miserable. The people who get the most from the show are the ones who are in it for self-discovery.
The Vanguard‘s tips for your audition
(Read: our uninformed opinions)
1. Expose your genitalia
The Real World is full of sex. Show the interviewer you are down with dirty deeds by flashing a cheeky bit of minge or your shaved bollocks.
2. Be willing to experiment
Being bisexual is a surefire way to get on the show. If you have no gay-leanings, you better get some fast. Start practicing with your best friends. Trust us, it will only make you closer.
3. Go drunk
Drinking is huge on The Real World. Most every interesting scene has revolved around booze in some way. Let the casting directors know that when you get drunk, you “get them titties out.”