Tom Green; some kinda freak

“Daddy, would you like some sauasage?” The preview makes me laugh myself silly. Never before has a movie trailer entertained me so much. Tom Green’s “Freddy Got Fingered” offers crazy previews full of the comedian’s antics. The image of Green with sausages tied around his fingers that are rigged to bob up and down like puppets while he sings and plays a piano, made me want to see this movie.

However, as I sat in the theater I felt an array of emotions. I was shocked, disgusted, amazed, entertained, sad, angry, happy and offended. I really wanted to like this movie, but no matter how hard I tried I don’t find paralysis, blood or molestation funny. A scene with Green hanging on to a taught umbilical cord while it was still attached to both baby and mother made me cringe and actually want to get up and leave the movie. I like Green and have always found him funny, however I drew the line with “Freddy got Fingered.” The plot was weak; one we have all seen before in Adam Sandler’s “Billy Madison.” However, Sandler’s version was much funnier. Imagine a son who is a screwup and a weirdo, yet still seeks the approval of his father. His father pokes fun at his “doodles” (animations/drawings) and yet the son manages to make his way in the world, while his father apologizes and he gets the girl in the end. Just add some blood, sick jokes and Green, and you have “Freddy Got Fingered.” I didn’t see any point to the film or some of Green’s antics.

Telling someone that their wife is dead is not funny, even if it is all part of getting an appointment with a big-wig at an animation company. A little boy who constantly gets hurt or impaled with flying objects is not funny, neither is accusing your father of molesting your brother, even in the name of revenge.

Now, I am the first to admit I am taking the content way too seriously, but I can’t help it. There were some funny parts, such as Green masturbating an elephant and the “sex scenes” with his girlfriend. This movie would be great intoxicated, sneaking bottles of beer in like you did back in high school, as you try not to giggle as they roll down the aisle. Going in a group might help too, but this is not a date movie, or a movie I find worthy of $7.50. Rip Torn, a grown-up Anthony Michael Hall and Drew Barrymore all add to a talented cast. This experience has left me wondering what Green’s mind is like. As I walked out of “Freddy Got Fingered,” I felt like I had been on an out-of-control roller coaster while trying to read Tolstoy.

The one thing I really liked about this film was the soundtrack, and I plan to buy it. The New York Dolls, The Ramones, Iggy Pop covering “I Gotta Be Me” and Sammy Davis Jr. doing the original helped make certain scenes tolerable. I definitely think Green has a thing for animals, if you know what I mean. The content also makes it hard for me to separate Green from Gord, his character in “Freddy Got Fingered.” Fair or not, there was too much of him in Gord for comfort. I now say “Daddy would you like some sausage?” with a sad heart and not quite the same enthusiasm.