TriMet riders survival guide

Maybe you’re new in town and need to know how to get around, or maybe you’re a long-time commuter who’s just sick of gas prices. Either way, for cross-town trips, public transportation is the way to go for many of the city’s inhabitants.

Here’s how to get to where you’re going using TriMet, which is for all intents and purposes your only option.

Step one: Find a busTriMet bus stop signs are white and blue, and list the bus lines that stop there, as well as little semi-useless bits of information like, “runs on weekdays, weekends and holidays.” If you’re having trouble finding a bus stop, check out trimet.org for an interactive map of stops and neighborhoods.

Some of the fancier stops have signs (generally well-decorated with graffiti) that give stop times and the ever-precious stop ID number. With a stop ID number, all the information you could ever want for your bus is in the palm of your hand, in the form of your cell phone. Call 503-238-7433, hit 1, enter your stop ID and a calm, reassuring voice will let you know exactly how long it’s been since you missed your bus.

Step two: Get on the busThe bus has arrived–hooray! Now wait patiently for the old ladies to get on, because you’re so thoughtful, and get your fare ready.

An important item of note for recent transplants: While some bus systems are “board in the back, exit the front,” in Portland it’s in reverse, and they want payment up front.

Depending on where you’re at and where you’re going, fares can vary. Pretty much all of the downtown area–from Union Station down to where the fringes of PSU campus meet the 405–is considered Fareless Square. Just say “fareless” to the driver when boarding, and you’re set.

Costs for traveling anywhere else outside of Fareless Square will vary for a two-hour ticket depending on how many zones you pass through on your ride. A trip from 40th and S.E. Division to campus will cost you $1.75, while a trip from the Beaverton Transit Center to campus will set you back $2.05.

Step three: Enjoy the rideRides on TriMet are infinitely more enjoyable with the addition of a music player, headphones and reading material, unless you’re the chatty type. Whether it’s a 10 a.m. drunk or an administrative assistant going in to work, bus commuters love talking to strangers.

If you choose to ride without the aforementioned “don’t talk to me” devices, be prepared for a lengthy conversation about pets, politics, bike pants, aliens, gardening, rock bands or hair stylists–sometimes all at once.

Step four: Get off the busAbout two blocks before your stop, pull the cable to signal that you want off. Don’t wait until the last second unless you want to see a crowd of standing-room-only commuters all collectively try to hang on for dear life as the driver hits the brakes to get your stop.

Deboarding during the weekday rushes can be a tricky affair more suited for Cirque du Soleil performers than a groggy student with a 15-pound backpack.

The first thing to remember is to be patient with your fellow riders as they contort themselves around the seats and poles trying to get out of your way. The second thing to remember is to exit out the back unless you’re standing in that space right behind the driver.

Congratulations!You have successfully completed a bus trip across Portland. Welcome to an ever-growing population of bus commuters. As one newcomer from the Los Angeles area once told me, “It’s so exciting to ride a bus and not see people reeking of their own urine shooting up in the back seats!”

Four steps for survival

Be early: Get to your stop five minutes early. It could save you 30 minutes of waiting.

Check in: Call 503-238-7433 to check when the next bus will arrive. Find the stop ID number, punch it in and prepare to be disappointed. Hope you brought a magazine.

Wear protection: If you don’t want to deal with the miscreant drunks that populate many of our fair city’s buses, pop in the iPod headphones and rock out in ignorant bliss.

Wake up: Make sure you don’t miss your stop by trying to steal an extra couple minute’s sleep. When leaving, exit using the rear door.