There’s something about endings that tugs at my heartstrings. Last night I watched the series finale of Malcolm in the Middle, a show I can’t stand, and yet when Malcolm gave his graduation speech at the end of the episode I was inexplicably moved. And when I switched over to The West Wing, the sight of the new president (Jimmy Smits) at his inauguration made me feel proud, despite the fact that I haven’t watched the show in three years. If they pull out “Tiny Dancer” for the series finale of That 70’s Show, there’s no hope for me. The waterworks will flow.
24
I feel sorry for President Logan. Sure, he allowed the murder of an ex-President and put nerve gas into the hands of Russian terrorists, but he really meant well. Unfortunately, things just didn’t come together like they were supposed to. It’s happened to the best of us: we had the perfect plan and everything went wrong. President Bush has lied to us, poisoned our environment, and is at this moment listening to our private conversations, and all we do is shake our heads and shrug. So chill out, Jack Bauer, and stop trying to put Logan in jail. Nobody’s perfect, OK?
America’s Next Top Model
Last week I learned that you can’t be America’s Next Top Model unless you take a moment to reflect on the destruction left by last year’s tsunamis. In tribute to the tsunami victims, Top Model Jade stared out into the Indian Ocean, put her hands together in prayer, and then for some strange reason made the Roc-A-Fella diamond sign. On a related note, hot Russian teenage models must be laughing their coked-up heads off at the idea that being a supermodel requires a conscience.
Will and Grace
Last week, Jack thanked his catering friends for lending their services to the opening party for his TV series The Badge, or as Jack put it, “Thanks for making my opening so big.” With Will and Grace ending soon, I’m going to miss its wonderfully gross humor. Note to comedy writers: set a show amongst the gay and the super-rich and you can get away with almost anything.
The Office
Last week, Pam and Jim kissed. If those two get together, the show might really start to suck. Their British counterparts only got together in the last ten minutes of the series finale, which worked because we were happy for them and we never had to see them again. But an entire season of them getting all cutesy? Yuck. Meanwhile, Dwight is becoming the kind of classic character whose every utterance is, if not hilarious, at least unique enough to be entertaining.
Extra’s “Mansions and Millionaires”
Watching Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath spend $48,000 to hire cheerleaders to root him on during his one-on-one game with his butler, it’s not hard to imagine why the terrorists hate us. Watching McGrath blow hundreds of thousands of dollars for the sole purpose of a dumb segment on Extra – I hate us too.
Saturday Night Live
So I ripped on this show last week and the week before that, but I have to admit the tail-end of last week’s episode was pretty funny, especially the “Peyote” digital short. New cast member Kristen Wiig is hilarious and should replace Amy Poehler in every sketch the latter is in. The show has dead weight in writers like Tina Fey and performers like Horatio Sanz and Darrell Hammond, both of who have been in the cast since the days of Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon. A show that survives by infusing itself every couple of years with new talent can’t afford to keep around two old guys who can’t find work anywhere else.
The Simpsons
“Why are the devil and Darwin making out?” This week, The Simpsons took on the evolution vs. creationism debate and actually managed not to paint religious people as ignorant zealots. Kudos.