Reality shows are tired. They are acknowledged as garbage by damn near everyone. They are filthy shows with gutter-trash stars, all looking to make a buck and (hopefully) get a fuck.
Who is it that has created this no-ethics black hole of entertainment? It’s the producers. They are the ones who shape reality shows into the visual excrement we all secretly watch. Reality television is getting worse and worse, and what was once entertaining junk food has become a series of horrifying shit-sandwiches.
If you don’t believe us, compare last fall’s A Shot of Love on VH1 and its recent spin-off, That’s Amore! The first was garbage, sure, but still laughable in its badness. All you need to know about That’s Amore! is that buxom, brain-dead blondes are routinely forced to perform sexual acts on food. Example: One episode features contestants sucking the filling out of stuffed cannoli and spitting the cheese into buckets. Degrading much?
It’s time to stop eating the shit and start throwing it back in their faces.
Why should we remain passive to the direction of reality television? Why should we let the producers and casting directors dictate what we watch? You’re thinking we want you to stop watching the shows … right? WRONG! We want you to try out, get on a reality show and subvert the system from the inside. It’s time to put reality TV out of its misery with a painful knife to the head. Let’s bleed this beast dry.
Think about it. Massive amounts of reality show contestants on MTV, VH1, NBC, FOX–all looking to destroy reality TV internally. It’s Operation: Destroy.
Here’s the plan:
1. Make yourself the perfect reality TV star by going to a casting call as a stereotype. Give them what they want. Lie, lie, lie!
2. Once on the show, do everything you can to make it as uninteresting as possible. Talk your roommates into playing nightly games of UNO instead of clubbing. Replace the alcohol in the house with water. Drain the hot tub. If nothing exciting happens, the editors will have nothing to work with.
3. Render all footage useless by routinely speaking and staring straight into the camera. Reality TV producers want to make the show seem natural, and if you constantly break the fourth wall, they will lose their minds.
4. Let other “Operation: Destroy” soldiers know that you are one of them; say the secret code word, “weinervous,” on camera as much as possible. It’s confusing-perfect for distracting from your true mission.
Resources:
Round up: www.realitycastingcall.com
VH1 castingwww.vh1.com/shows/casting_callTelling quote: “So, if you’re a talented femcee…”
MTV castingwww.mtv.com/ontv/castingcallTelling quote: “Casting outrageous party girls.”
NBC castingwww.nbc.com/castingTelling quote: “Looking for weekend warrior types that are BIG, bad, and athletic.”
ABC castingwww.abc.go.com/site/casting.htmlTelling quote: “…and a fun twist: the Moms of each household swap places.”