21 Things You Probably Won’t Go To

Friday, Feb. 27

Iommi Stubbs, Diesto, Topsider


9:30 p.m.

$5, 21+

If leaden riffs, squalling Big Muff Pi and heavy-osity in general are your thing, then Iommi Stubbs is your ticket to a good time. Best enjoyed at maximum volume, like their namesake.

Simple Plan, MxPx, Sugar Cult, Motion City Soundtrack, Billy Talent

Crystal Ballroom

7 p.m.

$18.50, $20 door, all ages

Horrible poppy punk comes to town. All over the metro area, mall-ternative kids rejoice and march straight from Hot Topic with their allowance and buy overpriced tickets to see punk’s festering carcass dance on strings for their amusement, and merchandisers’ pleasure.

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Dillinger Escape Plan, The Locust

Roseland Theater

9 p.m.

$13, all ages

Profuse metal riffing is featured in Dillinger Escape Plan, along with a healthy dose of hardcore and frayed screaming. The Locust features tight pants, more hardcore and some superfast tempo changes. If they’re good enough to get on a 7″ with Melt Banana, they’re good enough for me.

Deerhoof, All Girl Summer Fun Band, 31 Knots, The Papercuts

Meow Meow

9 p.m.

$10, all ages

This is Friday’s best show, combining the awesome power of Deerhoof with All Girl Summer Fun Band’s brand of summery fun rock so sweet it’ll give you cavities, which pretty much sums up their dichotomy. Also featuring 31 Knots’ proggy goodness.

Strait Jacket, Rabid Dogs

Twilight Caf퀌� and Bar


Take a generous helping of raw rock in a Stooges vein with a dash of Dead Boys for good measure, and what do you get: the Rabid Dogs, who’ll heat up the Twilight with their trademark intensity in live performance.

The Carolines, Dolour


8 p.m.

$5, all ages

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I had a friend who was going to join Dolour and play keyboards for them. Too bad they didn’t let him in, since he might have Zombies-and-Big Starred up the mix a little bit. As it stands, Dolour plays somewhat syrupy pop that’s not bad, considering their sappiness level. The Carolines heap more pop onto the stage, assembling it with hooks and piano and finish it off with a dose of treble guitar.

Saturday, Feb. 28

50 Foot Wave, Audio Learning Center

Crystal Ballroom

8 p.m.

$10, $12 door, 21+

Throwing Muses contributes its members to 50 Foot Wave, which aims for a harder and faster sound. Audio Learning Center brings together fragments of Pond (Christopher Brady) and Sprinkler (Steven Birch). Maybe Birch can be forgiven for his association with Everclear, the worst Portland band of all time.

Fred Frith

Fez Ballroom

8 p.m.

$15, $12 student

Fred Frith, a composer and guitarist famous for his improvisational skills, comes to town for the first time since 1980. Over the years, he has composed for dance, film and theater, as well as being in a batch of art-rock bands.

Silent Auction and Music for Portland Women’s Crisis Line

Smith Memorial Student Union, Rm. 238, 503-725-5672

7 p.m.

The Women’s Crisis Line gets some more help from this auction, which will feature music, food, movies and fabulous prizes.

The Wailers

Crystal Ballroom

Through Feb. 29, 8 p.m.

$20, $25 door, all ages

Bob Marley’s old band, The Wailers, continues to create output and overcharge for tickets. This is probably not a concert to miss, unless you hated Bob Marley and the Wailers, as I did. It is a simple fact that Bob Marley sucked and only people who have smoked themselves too retarded to listen to Black Sabbath like him, The Wailers, or any combination thereof.

Clamor Music Festival: Davies vs. Dresch, Dead Science, In Museums, (cH)evron, Ross and the Hellpets

Red and Black Caf퀌�

8 p.m.

This show is already cool by virtue of Davies vs. Dresch, but it gets even better when you know that the Ross of Ross and the Hellpets is the Ross Beach from Neutral Milk Hotel.

The Fourth World War

Clinton Street Theater

Through March 5


In this documentary film, the other side of the “War on Terror” is presented through the eyes of the people it affects in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Argentina and the many other places around the globe that have been impacted by the new century’s imperialism.

Sunday, Feb. 29

Dualesc, Syx

Paris Theatre

4:30 p.m.

$7, all ages

West Linn isn’t usually known as a hotbed of music, but Dualesc hails from that ivory tower with a heavy blend of Tool and Sunny Day Real Estate. Syx is a bunch of Mudvayne-influenced dudes with goatees. I guess no one told them that the whole goatee-metal-dude thing was over in 1998, and Mudvayne is one of the worst bands ever. The whole face makeup thing doesn’t make a band cool or scary, guys. Just leave that to Kiss.

Monday, March 1

Non Prophets, Mac Lethal, Grand Buffet

Roseland Theater

8 p.m.

The “Fuck Clear Channel” tour hits Portland with expectedly non-corporate musicians delivering cutting-edge hip hop, or what I assume is cutting edge hip hop, since my knowledge of it ends in about 1985.

Pedro The Lion, John Vanderslice, Ester Drang


9:30 p.m.

$10, $12 door, 21+

Pedro The Lion’s live show has been getting more energetic since the release of Control a couple years back, and with Vanderslice and Ester Drang opening, it should be one to remember, in a good way.

Tokyo Sex Destruction, Bullet Train To Vegas, Lion Fever

Meow Meow

8 p.m.

$7, all ages

Tokyo Sex Destruction hails from sunny Spain and brings their politically-influenced garage soul rock with them, replete with lots of handclaps and yeahs. Does this add up to good music? Not necessarily, since these musical elements have been copped endlessly since the major label “garage revival” began, and nothing is more annoying than empty posturing passing itself off as real rock and roll. Lion Fever’s bluesy/punky din should break up the evening, no matter what TSD delivers.

Tuesday, March 2

Liz Phair

Roseland Theater

8 p.m.

$20, all ages

A display of the art of selling out, courtesy of Liz Phair. Waste your money gratuitously in the hope that she’ll play some songs from her first album.

Cobra High, The Everyothers


10 p.m.

$5, 21+

Pretend it’s 1977 with the Iggy- and Bowie-tinged glam garage of The Everyothers and the synthy rock of Cobra High. Even if you could stand to never hear the word “garage” again, remember that everything sounds good after enough few drinks.

MB Condon “And They Will Welcome Us With Flowers”

Marghitta Feldman Gallery, 1102 N.W. Marshall

Through March 27

Dispelling government-formatted images and perceptions and re-interpreting and reconstructing them in her own fashion is MB Condon’s bag. And an excellent bag it is, well worth the short trip from campus via streetcar.

Wednesday, March 3

The Crystal Method

Crystal Ballroom

8 p.m.

$16.50, $19 door, all ages

Crystal Method at Crystal Ballroom … it’s almost too funny to pass up. Except that I have a great distaste for the Crystal Method and, accordingly, no desire to spend outrageous amounts of money to see them.

The Modern Zoo Presents: “Disposable”

Vollum Lounge, Reed College, 3203 S.E. Woodstock

Through March 7


Using unlimited thin plastic sheeting as a medium, 6 Reed artists are challenged to create works using the general theme of interaction.

– The Calendar Boy