22 Things You Probably Won’t Go To

Friday 21

Mad Caddies, The Queers, Maxeen

The Meow Meow, 8 p.m., $12 advanced, all ages

I never really liked golfing.

Rocket From The Tombs

Lola’s Room, 7 p.m., $12 advanced, 21 +

Sounds like a fun trip!

Paul Chasman, Phil Kellogg, Peter Lang, Tinh Mahoney, Terry Robb, Rick Ruskin

The Old Church, 8 p.m., $16, all ages

Hey! If you want to know more about this concert honoring the late John Fahey, check out philkellogg.com

Kinaalda-Navajo Rite of Passage

Feminist Film Series, Smith Multicultural Center 228, Noon, FREE, all ages

Hey man, it’s a free movie, even if you’re not a feminist.

World Children’s Day in the Rose City

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 7:30 p.m., $14 +, all ages

100 percent of the proceeds from this event will go to the Ronald McDonald House.

Dan Bern

Berbati’s Pan, 8:30 p.m., $13 advanced, 21 +

Do you believe that Dan wrote 6 operas by age 4?

Arab Strap

Dante’s, 9:30 p.m., $12 advanced, 21+

I’m sure I could say something political and witty about their name but I’m just not going to go there.

Slayer, Hatebreed, Arch Enemy, Drown Mary

Roseland Theater, 7 p.m., $29.50 advanced, all ages

Sounds like a cheery bunch.

Saturday 22

THIRTY3, 800 Octane, Countdown To Life, The Dead Unknown, Beneath The Ashes, Blue Turns White

The Meow Meow, 7 p.m., $7, all ages

With all these bands playing, you better have a lot of free time.

Rachael Sage

Music Millennium, 5 p.m., FREE, all ages

Hey, if you’re into the Indigo Girls wanna-be scene, you’ll more than likely love her!

“Made in America” conducted by Carlos Kalmar

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 7:30 p.m., $17, all ages

Ah…the symphony.

Dylan-Thomas Vance

Music Millennium, 5 p.m., FREE, all ages

Think: “A Mighty Wind.”

Brenda Weiler

Music Millennium, 1 p.m., FREE, all ages

She’s from North Dakota, don’t cha know.

Placebo, Eagles of Death Metal

Aladdin Theater, 9 p.m., $20 advanced, all ages

Another Euro band.

Gavin DeGraw

Music Millennium, 2 p.m., FREE, all ages

Rock music will never die.

Sunday 23

Alkaline Trio, Reggie & The Full Effect, From Autumn To Ashes, No Motiv

Crystal Ballroom, 7 p.m., $15 advanced, all ages

Maybe they’ll catch fire.

Lew Jones

Music Millennium, 3 p.m., FREE, all ages

Wow, you know you’re a classic when you started recording on cassette tapes.

Tuesday 25

Troy Thirdgill

Harvey’s Comedy Club, 8 p.m., $10 cover, 21+

He’s even got a funny name.

Saul Williams, Piece

Aladdin Theater, 7 p.m., $12.50, all ages

Even though the dates have changed for this concert, it’s still going to be good!

Wednesday 26

Sondra Lerche, Liz Phair, Jason Mraz

Lola’s Room, 7:30 p.m., $11 advanced, 21+

Better get the tickets ahead of time, otherwise you’ll have to pay $12 dollars to get in. Yeah.

Recorder Students of Gayle & Philip Neuman

Community Music Center, 7:30 p.m., FREE, all ages

I’m getting bad grade-school music class flashbacks.

Rachael Yamagata

Music Millennium, 5 p.m., FREE, all ages

Yet another Music Millennium event. Yippie.

-The Calendar Girl