SEX GUIDE EXTRAVAGANZA!
It’s said that the average man thinks about sex once every 30 seconds, and women aren’t far behind. And yet, so many people still have trouble finding the G-spot and even more have never even heard of the A-spot. Among the 67,000-plus search results for “sex guide” on Amazon.com, it may be difficult to know which book could be right for you.
Since you can never know enough about sex, it’s time to do some research. But what do you want in a sex guide?
Below, I’ve examined five popular books and classified them based on a wide range of criteria, for the doe-eyed beginner to the 퀌_ber-experienced sex god(dess).
Disclaimer: The Vanguard is not responsible for any injury to any person caused by attempting any of the positions/toys/advice described here.
“‘Kama Sutra’: Classic Lovemaking Techniques Reinterpreted for Today’s Lovers”
Ann Hooper
Synopsis: Hundreds of translations of the “Kama Sutra,” a guide to sexual positions written in India between A.D. 100 and A.D. 400. It’s for heterosexual couples (but open to interpretation). This specific version of the “Kama Sutra” is easy to read and illustrates the intricacies of the positions well.
Gay-friendly?: Not really.
Coverage: Chapters on foreplay, kissing and positions.
Design: Photographs and drawings.
Prior knowledge base: Good for beginners. Doesn’t get into the acrobatic positions.
Education value: This version only educational for the imaginationless.
Sense of humor: Unfunny except for unsexy names like “Driving the Peg Home” and “Pair of Tongs.”
How hot: Tame photos, no real sex.
Rehash factor: You can find the same advice in all different places.
Verdict: Best Book for the Bored
“Guide to Getting It On”
Paul Joannides
Synopsis: Now in its fourth edition, this guide is much like the Good Vibrations guide in education, but throws in a whole slew of thoughts on emotional attachment to your partner-in-crime as well.
Gay-friendly?: Wonderfully.
Coverage: Tons of info and the latest word on protection and dysfunction.
Design: Funny comic drawings of naked folks.
Prior knowledge base: For anyone with sexual thought in their heads.
Education value: Super helpful. Even covers sex during pregnancy and (and/or?) with disabled persons.
Sense of humor: Pretty good.
How hot: Hot enough. The drawings get pretty nice.
Rehash factor: Can’t be totally original, but does what it can.
Verdict: Best In Show
“Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm”
Kim Cattrall and Mark Levinson
Synopsis: Written by “Sex and the City” star and her husband, this book is an almost depressing look at how to get a woman off. It’s basically a long list of different ways to move your tongue.
Gay-friendly?: Hetero illustrations. Boring.
Coverage: All about the clit and G-spot. That’s it.
Design: Funny charcoal drawings of people in the throes of ecstasy.
Prior knowledge base: All you need to know is how to find a woman.
Education value: Might be helpful to fourteen-year old boys.
Sense of humor: Great to make fun of.
How hot: The red lines showing the clit and G-spot on the drawings take away all possible hotness.
Rehash factor: Same ol’, same ol’.
Verdict: Most Obvious
“The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the New Sexual Universe”
Emma Taylor & Lorelei Sharkey
Synopsis: Em and Lo, sex advice columnists (formerly for nerve.com, now indie on emandlo.com) approach this guide with a witty, engaging writing style. Plenty is covered, except for the models in accompanying photos. Even fisting gets its own chapter.
Gay-friendly?: Yup.
Coverage: Pretty general, but occasionally specific.
Design: Delectable photos.
Prior knowledge base: Fine for beginners.
Education value: Teaches plenty in non-threatening way.
Sense of humor: Great.
How hot: Those photos: damn!
Rehash factor: Mostly, but more fun than most.
Verdict: Coffee Table-Worthy
“The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex”
Cathy Winks & Anne Semans
Synopsis: I thought I knew a lot about sex, but damn. This book, written by the gals at female-friendly toy store Good Vibrations, explains everything you ever wanted to know about things you never even thought about frankly and unapologetically.
Gay-friendly?: Definitely. Also all age- and weight-friendly.
Coverage: Massive.
Design: Very technical-looking. Unpretty.
Prior knowledge base: Good for everyone.
Education value: Almost more than you can handle.
Sense of humor: Slight.
How hot: The reader comments get pretty interesting.
Rehash factor: Dispels the myths and educates the hell out of you.
Verdict: Most Practical, Least Sexy
