Arts and Culture Calendar

Thursday, May 20

Dark Lotus, Layzie Bone of BoneThugs-N-Harmony
Aladdin Theater
7 p.m.
Dark Lotus is kind of a supergroup, but a really horrible one.The lyrics and music were written and produced to a large degree byInsane Clown Posse, the kings of no-talent bad metal posturing.There are some other dudes from their label or whatever it is, TheSixtH, involved with this project, which is billed as ?… thewickedest, scariest, ruthless and beyond.? OK, that grammar isreally bad and it came straight from the band?s site. The onlytransgressions worse than that are the actual lyrics to Dark Lotus?records. Go to their site and see for yourself. Or you could justtrust me that they suck.

Wild Turkey Bourbon Tasting
Kennedy School
6:30 p.m.
$30, 21+
Hit up the Kennedy school for a dose of that fine, fine nectar,Wild Turkey. Thirty dollars gets you in, gets you drinks and willalso secure some ?hearty appetizers? for stomach padding. If youcan think of a better way to spend a Thursday night then go for it,but in my book, the Turkey?s always number one.

My Regrets, Used Wares, The Mediam
10 p.m.
Tonight, it?s all about the high energy rockin? in thetraditional sense. No synthesizers or drum machines here.

Anatomy of a Ghost, Believing in June, TheSchool Play and Guests
Meow Meow
7:30 p.m.
This concert marks the end of Anatomy of a Ghost, as they planon breaking up after a year and a half of playing. I don?t mean tobe a jerk, but thank fucking God. These guys sucked. Unless youlike them (and lame screaming, whiny, falsetto post-hardcore ingeneral), I would advise you to steer clear of this concert, as itis rife with bands that suck in a similar way.

Come Unity: Youth Gang Outreach benefit feat.Lifesavas, Libretto, Elemental Foundation DJ Dlyte
Crystal Ballroom
8 p.m.
$17, $20 door
This benefit for those darn punk kids and their gangs will behost to a bevy of local talent and even a few of the Rose City?smore famous faces in the form of Lifesavas. Awearness Clothing willalso be putting on a fashion show, and there will be a silentauction going on as well.

Vanguard Pick
?Jane: An Abortion Service?
5th Avenue Cinema
7 p.m.
?Jane: An Abortion Service? is a documentary that details asecret abortion service that was run by women in the MidwesternUnited States during the late ?60s and early ?70s. Founded on abelief that every woman had a right to safe and affordableabortion, Jane attracted a diverse group of individuals dedicatedto that one goal. The story of Jane is told in this film both bythose that operated it and those who benefited from itsvision.

Festival Primavera
Opens May 20
El Centro Milagro,
425 S.E. Sixth Avenue
Festival Primavera kicks off this weekend with a celebration ofLatino arts and culture. Featured will be bilingual and Spanisharts workshops, spoken word performance, theater, music and dance.Opening the festival will be ?Fuente Ovejuna,? a 1614 play thatchronicles the battle between a farming village and its tyrannicalruler.

Vanguard Pick
?Medicine and Magic: Healing Arts in Ancient Egypt?
SMSU 228
7:30 p.m.
OK, so you probably have your fill of lectures taken care of byyour classes. This one should be quite cool, however, as itconcerns medicine and surgery in Ancient Egypt. Slides helpillustrate how, despite their wide acclaim in the ancient world aspractical doctors and practitioners, magic was still anindispensable part of their art.

Vanguard Pick
The Gentry, The Vacant, Odditors, System and Station
I.C. Mummy
9:30 p.m.
$5, 21+
It?s obvious that The Gentry spent a lot of time boning up ontheir Bowie and Eno, only to mash it all up with some rock ?n? rollgoodness. System and Station lean heavier on their guitars, with anobvious love for six-string ramblings and proggish chord cyclessomewhat in the vein of friends Built to Spill. Don?t miss thischance to see this cool band for a bargain of $5.

Friday, May21

The Plea For Peace Tour with Cursive, SaulWilliams, Mike Park
Crystal Ballroom
7 p.m.
Nonprofit Plea for Peace believes in the power of music tochange minds and promote peace in a nonpartisan way, which is kindof nice since there?s rhetoric wherever you turn these days. Theprice is cheap and worth it to see Cursive in all their disjointed,explosive goodness.

Vanguard Pick
Alice Donut, Bloodhag, Iommi Stubbs
8:30 p.m.
$10, 21+
Heavy, loud rock ?n? roll that doesn?t suck is a rare commoditythese days, as legions of wankers with Super Strats at the readycrank out music that?s definitely heavy and loud, but is about asfar from rocking as you can get. Luckily for us, there?re stillbands like Iommi Stubbs who know what hard n? heavy is all about.Bloodhag are no slouches either, as they pelt you with riffs andpaperbacks in an unrelenting sci-fi metal aneurysm.

Vanguard Pick
Sun City Girls, Cerberus Shoal, Fields of Gaffney
Berbati’s Pan
8:30 p.m.
$12, 21+
Although it is difficult to concisely describe Sun City Girls, Iwill attempt to do so you can decide whether or not to pay yourblood money to see them. Sun City Girls: a long-obscure band with apenchant for messy freak-outs heavily flavored by Middle-Easterntradition and performance art, that creates jazzy-punky-rock– whatever you want to call it — that wafts throughbarriers of genre and style.
Did you like that? Do you kinda get what I?m saying? Anyway,these guys are wild and you should definitely go check them out,since they don?t always play that often.

Rock Creek Tavern
9 p.m.
21+ after 10 p.m.
Named after a really lame-ass, tiny, plant-eating dinosaur,Nanosaurus are regulars at the Rock Creek and tear it up with anexpansive and eclectic take on rock. They have been know to do a?Rain Song/Kashmir? cover that blends the two songs together with asmooth segue back to their own material. No matter how bad theirname is, that has the potential to be pretty ill.

The Cardigans
Roseland Theater
9 p.m.
Say what you want about the Cardigans. It doesn?t take away fromthe fact that they covered ?Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.? Even thoughthey play kind of wimpy and annoying pop, the guitarist and bassiststill look like total metalheads. They were before they started upthis band, and I bet that deep down, underneath the layers andplayful, harmonizing pop they yearn for the dulcet tones of SweetLeaf.

Saturday, May22

Party Time, Night After Night, BigBusiness
Berbati?s Pan
$6, 21+
Another last show, this time heralding the end of Party Time. Sotake off your cone-shaped cardboard hat and mourn their passing foronly $6. I guess playing Night after Night finally got to them, ormaybe they felt like music was too much of a Big Business for them.

U.S. Maple, The Planet The, Nice Nice
8:30 p.m.
$10, 21+
Two of my favorite bands around are playing together here. Whywould you want to miss a The Planet The and Nice Nice doublefeature? U.S. Maple isn?t too shabby either, but they don?t quitemeasure up to the wild prog ramblings of The Planet The or NiceNice?s fractured free-form noise.

The Shins, The Fiery Furnaces, ElfPower
Roseland Theater
9 p.m.
I once heard the Shins described as ?smarty-pants pop,? and thatreally stuck with me. It perfectly captures the intellectualizingand the cerebral and almost pastoral sounds that lurk inside thesleeve of a Shins record. The Fiery Furnaces are a little morerockin? in the blues vein, but share the brainy pop attitudes oftheir tourmates.

Northwest Rock Alliance feat. Hypatia Lake, TheUpsidedown, The Silver Surfer
Silver Surfer was one of the worse superheroes of his time. Hisnamesake band seems to be more interested in My Bloody Valentinethan surfing or beating up villains, which gives them a big up onthe shiny, board-riding wanker. The Upsidedown also seem to likethem some My Bloody Valentine, but might like drugs a little moresince they produce a somewhat Dandy Warhols-ish fuzz haze that?sgoing to force me to compare them to the Jesus and Mary Chain.Please, guys, start being inspired by someone else so I don?t haveto feel like a hack when I write ?Jesus and Mary Chain? everyweek.

The Hip Replacements, JackTown
Green Room
9 p.m.
If funky stuff is your thing, then you?ll probably like thesebands. The Hip Replacements mainly cover ?60s-?80s soul and funk,but have a few original songs worked in the mix as well. JackTownplays similarly-inspired funky rock, most of which is originalmaterial.

The Fourth, Holy Name Dropouts, The Ruby Doe, FieryCubists
Twilight Caf�
The Helmet-y Seattleites Ruby Doe close their sets with aMotorhead cover, and it?s ?Ace of Spades.? Do I need to say more? Ihope not, because I have no idea what any of these other bands arelike.

Sunday, May23

Vanguard Pick
BarFly Fifth Anniversary Hoedown
Sewickly’s Addition, 4901 S.E. Hawthorne
5 p.m.
Hmm. I wonder what kind of things are going to happen atBarFly?s fifth anniversary hoedown. Well, for starters, Storm andthe Balls will be showing up around seven o?clock. Preceding themwill be a barbecue and massive drinking, which will continuethroughout the set and indeed the entire evening. The party isscheduled to last ?till the cows throw up on their way home,? soapologize to your liver beforehand.

PSU Library Book Sale
SMSU Ballroom
Sunday 5 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.
Monday 8:30 a.m. – 2 p.m.
Tuesday 8:30 a.m. – 2 p.m.
PSU Library is bleeding off its overstock in a huge sale thatlasts through Tuesday, May 25. Hardbacks are a mere $1, paperbacksa paltry 50 cents, and magazines a mere 25 cents. On Tuesday, youcan even walk away with a box of books for $2, and a bag for $1.Cool city!

Wednesday, May26

Yo La Tengo, Antietam
Crystal Ballroom
8 p.m.
The indie old guard is in town, with both of these bands datingback to the early ?80s. Coincidentally, they are playing on mybirthday, and I also date back to the early ?80s. So celebrate meand indie rock and go to this concert. You won?t be disappointed,as bands don?t get to become elder statesmen by beinguntalented.

-The Calendar Boy