Bird song

I love Andrew Bird so much more after seeing him live. Before this show I was like, “Hey I really like that guy,” but now I’m more like, “That guy’s a fucking genius, let me make you a mix CD of my favorite songs.” I think the only way to really express my admiration for his profound talent and the overall experience of that magical performance is through the gift of poetry, so don’t laugh, but that’s what I did. I couldn’t remember much about iambic pentameter or, what do they call that, rhyming? Anyway, I was shooting for an Octavio Paz kind of thing. Enjoy.

Andrew Bird, how I love thee so
Thanks for coming to my town
And putting on a great show
I’m sorry you got carded at the front door
And that the security guard
Doesn’t know who you are
I love how you sing
And the way that you whistle
On the violin, you’re a king
You’re all meat and no gristle
I’m in awe of your range
And your perfect pitch
My cat caught the mange
While playing in a ditch
How did you become so amazing?
Did you learn that in school?
Like a merman, you do sing
Making others sound like fools
Your drummer had timing
Like a calculator watch
You had us all humming
We love you that much
If I had the option of seeing you or Superchunk
I would choose you because
I saw them once and they were just okay
I like your hair
And you seem kind of shy
I’m sorry if I stare
But you’re a talented guy
You’d make Grappelli weep
And Paganini green
My first child you can keep
If you want him, I mean
What kind of snacks do you like?
I will make them I swear
Do you like to ride bikes?
Then let’s go for a bike ride

OK, that’s a little embarrassing, but it’s my duty to accurately convey the show’s events to you and to maybe bring those unfortunate enough not to have been in attendance a little slice of the magic-even if I have to sacrifice my pride to do so. Hopefully everyone regrets their decision to do whatever stupid thing they were doing instead of seeing Andrew Bird. Oh, Laura Veirs was also very good, but I don’t think she deserves a poem.