Celebrating awesome stadium music

Call them jock rocks, stadium songs or just simply ridiculous, but the tunes played at sporting events have become an essential component of the live sporting experience. Every stadium has its personal collection of outdated rock or pop songs that are used to trigger the fans to dance, jump around, sing, cheer, look extremely stupid or at times cry. Some songs are actually pretty effective and acceptable, but others deserve an ejection and should receive a lifetime ban from the stadium’s premises because they are simply terrible.

While the majority of jock rock is either cheesy or appears to be lost in the wrong era, some melodies are actually very cool. For example, the Chicago Bulls’ introduction song is awesome. Any true sports fan would have to agree. Maybe it is because the song doesn’t have any words to ruin it or the beat is just so different, but every time the song is played it makes the hair on my back stand straight up. It is crazy. I get so pumped up and feel like I am in the United Center preparing to play in an NBA game, but then I realize that I am just sitting on my couch and have a vertical leap of about 15 or 16 inches. I know because I check each time I go to the Rose Garden, hoping it has miraculously increased.

The Blazers’ sound guy is obsessed with playing the “defense” chant almost every time down the floor, even when the Blazers are down by more than 20. I am not sure if it is to ensure that the fans don’t fall asleep or to keep them engaged, but it is annoying. Sometimes I wonder what the players think about the “defense” chant. They are probably on the court thinking that they know how to play the game and don’t need a bunch of clumsy fans telling them how to play. Are the players supposed to play harder or do they forget to play defense sometimes and need the fans to remind them? What does this song hope to accomplish? I hate to sound so pessimistic because I love sports but I guess the infamous D-fence chant is just one of the many unexplainable aspects of sports.

While the Blazers’ sound guy may have his finger stuck on the same button, causing him to repeatedly play the same song, the Rose Garden actually plays some reasonable songs, like “Charge,” “We Will Rock You” or “Takin’ Care of Business.” These tunes are acceptable because they are actually appropriate for sporting events. When the team is really taking care of business on the field or court it is awesome to play it over the PA system and get the fans involved. They get the fans out of their seats and allow them to momentarily forget any worries in their lives, which is what sports should do anyway. It should always be a good time at the ballpark or local arena and these songs just enhance the overall experience.

Speaking of songs that get fans out of their seats, probably the most common song at every stadium is “YMCA.” Now, this song was one of my favorites when I was a kid. I would always stand up and form the letters in correspondence with the song. It was really cool because I could make a “Y” and an “M” and then the “CA” all by myself, which was also a confidence-builder because hopefully nobody can mess up the spelling of that song.

However, over the years I think that I am growing to hate the “YMCA” song. I know it is supposed to be a happy song and the intentions are good, but it is really starting to become a cult. Yes, a cult. The song is embedded in everybody’s head and when it plays they can’t help but stand up and make the motions with the rest of the crowd. It could possibly have some sort of subliminal messages in it, telling fans to buy more hotdogs or soda. I don’t know. Whatever it is, I don’t like it anymore. I cringe and wince every time I hear it over the PA system. If I could rid sports of one song it would definitely be the “YMCA” song because, I’m sorry, but I am not five anymore.

Another song that was prominent in stadiums across the nation for a couple of years is “Who Let the Dogs Out.” I will admit that when this song was popular I would sing along when I was at the Rose Garden or Safeco Field. Oh yeah, the Mariners even let this melody become their theme song a couple of years ago. They played it like five or six times a game and even let the Baha Men do a live concert in 2000.

Maybe that is why the M’s won 116 games the following season, because they were so happy that it was gone. I can just imagine Sweet Lou threatening the team before a game: “If you guys don’t play to win I will bring that annoying song back.” That would definitely give the players some incentive to go out and crush the opponent. Wow, I am just glad that this song has had its 15 minutes of fame and is banned from every park across the nation.

One ballpark that does it right is Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs. It is a tradition to have someone different, usually a celebrity, sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the seventh-inning stretch of every game. The late great Harry Carey used to sing the song the best, but in recent years there have been some great renditions and some very poor ones.

Ozzy Osborne was probably the worst ever when he took the microphone and almost made the whole crowd leave the stadium after his screechy voice was off-key. The famous artist forgot nearly all the words. He just mumbled and acted like he knew. That was actually very funny to watch. But all jokes aside, having a great tradition like the Cubs or Bulls is really great for the fans. Not only does it give the team some notoriety but it also provides the fans with some time to unwind and just have a good time.

Stadium songs are here to stay whether many of them are appropriate or not. Often music is the overlooked facet of attending a live sporting event. People are not necessarily conscious of the songs that are played, they just know that it gives them one reason to jump up and dance or scream at the top of their lungs. That is the way it should be. I wish that some songs would just find their way out of the arena, but overall I like this component of sports.

Note to stadium audio guys around the nation: never, and I mean never, bring back “Who Let the Dogs Out” and please limit the “YMCA.” Play the good ones and we will be happy.