Coffee keeps dazed students functioning

For the past few years, there’s been an insidious epidemic which many tend to ignore or simply dismiss as trivial. This epidemic, this slow addiction to and reliance on a substance and lifestyle, is (in my estimation) worse than binge drinking, even when adhered to responsibly.

Michael CooperHowever, I am not just a critic. I, like many, many millions of others, am one of the sleepy-eyed addicts who require a daily dose of the lovely, dark drug. And should too much time pass before my veins are filled with the narcotic, then may God, fate, chance or existentialism help those who cross my path. There’s nothing as ugly as an addict needing a fix, particularly when it’s something as innocuous, subversive and available as coffee.

Therefore it seems only responsible that the Vanguard provide specific and precise information to facilitate the acquisition of the drug before someone gets hurt or collapses from withdrawal. With that said here’s the lowdown on the campus coffee culture.

Prices and tasting notes are for regular drip coffee, which obviously does not take into account the complexities of the different roasts or the length of time they’ve been sitting around in their pots. This is more a comparison of the cafes and what they pour as a daily offering to the masses than anything so high-minded.

?Annie Bloom’s Coffee
Mild to hearty with a slightly bitter $1, lg. $1.25

Rich and robust, a deep, hearty offering.$1.25, $1.50 and $1.75

?Seattle’s Best
Deep, dark and robust with a citrus-sour finish.$1.40, $1.60 and $1.80

(pours Kobos roasts and blends)
Mild, aromatic with a slightly tannic, copper finish.$1.10, $1.35 and $1.60

?Coffee People
A heavy, yet smooth blend with poignant finish.$1.25, $1.40 and $1.55

?Pete’s Coffee and Tea
Hearty and earthy with a semi-bitter finish.$1.35, $1.55 and $1.75

(pours Dark Mountain Blend)
Deep, hearty and rich..89�� and .99��

?Park Ave. Caf퀌�
(pours Torrefazione roasts and blends)
Smooth, subtle and aromatic with an elegantly smooth finish (by far my favorite cup around).$1.25, $1.50 and $1.75

Has a frequent “drinker” program.

Disclaimer: This article is in no way meant or implied to be an affront to the many diligent students and responsible adults who share this campus with the menacing, zombie hordes of the addicted.