Film in brief

Margot at the Wedding**(Out of five)

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Margot at the Wedding may be the most unintentionally terrifying movie of the year. It’s scary not because it’s gruesome or bloody; it’s scary because every single character in the movie is a narcissistic monster.

The plot follows main character Margot (Nicole Kidman) as she and her son reconvene with her estranged, soon-to-be-married sister for her wedding. But this wedding is not good, or happy or positive–at least not in Margot’s eyes. See, her sister is getting married to Jack Black. Which is to say she’s getting married to a fat, annoying, stupid asshole who can’t do anything right.

Basically, the plot is really straightforward. Except instead of solving their problems like real people, everyone in this movie passes around passive-aggressive barbs for two hours. It’s really uncomfortable, but not in any way that is funny or entertaining.

Imagine the four most annoying people you know, the people who only talk about themselves all of the time. You know, the people who shouldn’t have friends. Now put those four people in a movie. Imagine how terrible that would be, and you have a basic understanding of Margot at the Wedding. Even the kids in the movie, the characters who should be innocent, are extremely annoying. I hate them all.

None of this is to say that Margot at the Wedding is a poorly made movie. The writing, directing and especially the acting are all top-notch. Director Noah Baumbach really succeeded in showing us his vision. It’s just unfortunate that his vision is so bleak and unwelcoming. Baumbach has made a genre exercise that no one wants to see: the familial-dystopia.

It’s a vision of the modern family that is twisted to its core: everyone is a selfish asshole. And love? Well, it’s for the birds.

While Margot at the Wedding may be a reflection of our brutish society and the condition of modern family structures, who the hell wants to watch it?

–Ed Johnson

Hitman* (Out of five)

Videogames are so complicated. You have to press buttons and solve puzzles and do stuff. Yuck.

When I go to the movies, I want the entertainment equivalent of having Cheetos and Mountain Dew intravenously fed to me through a tube: no moving, no complicated plots and definitely no thinking. I also want boobs. Preferably boobs attached to an attractive lady.

Hitman is the movie I’ve been looking for. It has all the plot of a videogame (it is based on the videogame of the same name) but none of the button pushing. The acting is about the same, but the blood looks more realistic–a perfect tradeoff.

Speaking of the plot, it’s about an assassin who gets betrayed by a massive international organization. You read that right: he gets betrayed. He also doesn’t know how to love! And he kills people! And, well, explosions are cool (so cool). And that’s the movie.

This is the point where I should say: “Ha! I’m joking. This movie was a shitpile of weird bald guys, fake Russian accents and bad, bad, bad acting.” But I won’t, because I’m really just pissed that my mom isn’t back from the store with more Mountain Dew: Code Red. I want to feel extreme.

-Ed Johnson

Weekend**** (Out of five)

One of the most incomprehensible films in all of cinema, Jean-Luc Godard’s infuriating, yet brilliant, 1967 film Weekend screens this weekend at the Fifth Avenue Cinema.

A must for film buffs, Weekend is the epitome of 1960s counter-cinema. Throughout the film, Godard taunts the audience by confronting the notion of what makes a movie, and assaults us with noise, an impenetrable story and un-relatable characters. The story is, on the surface, about a married couple’s road trip through a weird American landscape, but is really about how far Godard can push the audience. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Watching this movie will be hell for some. If spending two hours being confused and dumbfounded doesn’t sound like a good time to you, then skip this film. But for fans of classic cinema, it is a chance to view a master director working at the edge of madness.

Weekend plays Friday, Nov. 23 and Friday, Nov. 24 at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. and Sunday, Nov. 25 at 3 p.m. at Fifth Avenue Cinemas, 510 S.W. Hall St.

Admission is free with PSU ID.

–Stover E. Harger III