Jan. 20–Feb. 18
Many wise people have found great revelation by pushing their bodies to their limits, Aquarius, but you are not one of them. Not this week, at least. Your catharsis will come, but not now. You’re still a college student. Respect that, for now.
Feb. 20–March 19
A song echoes across the solar system, Pisces, and you are particularly attuned to its melody. Pause and listen to this soothing song of silence from time to time. This week will be hard, but you are rightly equipped.
March 21–April 19
Dread gates have opened between the stars, but not for you, Aries. This week your friends will find themselves intertwined in the dramatics of life. You’ll need to choose to play the referee, but walking away will bolster your own sanity.
April 20–May 20
This week the sunless sea glares in your favor, Taurus. The sea beckons you to consume only that which will make you stronger. Focus on your fruits, and get lots of sleep.
May 21–June 20
We have reached the terminus of reason, Gemini, and thus you must walk this week without reason. Give into the throngs of madness, dance with shadows and treat yourself to some fast food.
June 21–July 22
The end is near, Cancer. The end of this term, that is. Keep this ending in mind as your winter break begins, for every ending is a beginning and every beginning an end. You might not understand it now, but you will.
July 23–Aug. 22
John F. Kennedy once said jazz saved his life. Search the books of his life for this quote and you will not find it, for it is a fact from another world, Leo, and I have seen it. Look for the improbable this week, and believe.
Aug. 23–Sep. 22
Love will find you this week, Virgo. It will find you and it will harry you, but you will be better for it in the end. Endure the hardships of love and the failings of other people this week. Your reward is nigh.
Sep. 23–Oct. 22
You must discern the truth from the advertising, Libra. It is of grave importance. If you fail to do so, you will find yourself worse for wear. Peel away the lies and feast on what you find beneath; knowledge is your power.
Oct. 23–Nov. 21
Your fate this week, Scorpio, is that of a Grecian urn: storied and mythic, but cyclical. You keep getting yourself into these painful predicaments, thinking them of greater importance than they truly are. Smash the urn and tell your own story.
Nov. 22–Dec. 21
Learn from this success, Sagittarius. It was as much a surprise to you as anyone else, but the results are repeatable. Dissect your progress and learn from it. Do not shy away from the immensity of the task. You need this growth.
Dec. 22–Jan 19
Keep an eye out for a friend in need, Capricorn. Not everyone is bold enough to ask for help, but you are kind enough to recognize a wanderer caught in the squall of emotions. Lend a hand and guide them through the storm.