The 2008 presidential election is still nearly two years away, but already dozens of real candidates have tossed their hats in the ring for the 44th presidency of the ol’ U.S. of A. Not to be left out, lots of not-real candidates have dog-piled on the race too.
I hereby declare my candidacy…
The 2008 presidential election is still nearly two years away, but already dozens of real candidates have tossed their hats in the ring for the 44th presidency of the ol’ U.S. of A. Not to be left out, lots of not-real candidates have dog-piled on the race too. They even have their own websites:
Candidate: General ZodWebsite: www.zod2008.comChoice quote: “Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives and your vote.”
Being from the planet Krypton may bring his eligibility into question, but General Zod makes no bones about his presidential platform. Why settle for clandestine tyranny when you can have good old fashioned, open and honest oppression?
Candidate: MacGyverWebsite: http://www.specialfarm.net/macgyver2008.htmlChoice quote: “His solution for Iraq? A roll of toilet paper, a piece of coal and a bit of string. That’s all MacGyver will need for a democratic and free Middle East.”
From international terrorism to the domestic economy, using simple household items, MacGyver’s got a tool for that. The man has a tool for everything.
Candidate: Christopher WalkenWebsite: www.walken2008.comChoice quote: “Now, more active than ever, Christopher Walken has realized that the state of his country is in dismay.”
Christopher Walken knows he’s awesome. Presidentially awesome. You may know him from such films as The Prophecy, and The Prophecy II. Why don’t you think he’s awesome too?
Candidate: Oprah WinfreyWebsite: http://www.dreamagic.com/oprah/Choice quote: “Oprah Winfrey is famous, scrupulously honest, immensely popular and wealthy in her own right. While she has scant experience in politics, this is hardly a handicap in a world where most people have become disillusioned with ‘conventional’ politics.”
She’s really famous and… she’s really famous! Obviously what this whole Iraq problem needs are tips on make-up and healthy eating, along with the occasional celebrity confessional interview. And did we mention that she’s really famous?
Candidate: Donald TrumpWebsite: www.donaldtrump2008.comChoice quote: “Could you imagine Trump tolerating the inefficiencies that caused 500 million dollars worth of mobile homes destined for hurricane victims to rot in parking lots in Hope, Arkansas? Someone needs to shout ‘You’re fired!'”
What America needs most in these times of international strife is to build respect in the world community. And what better way to do that than electing The Donald? Then everyone would see that America stands for modesty, respect and nuanced policy for sure!
