Dating is fairly horrific in general, and sometimes, a person can be subjected to a date that is so unbelievably terrible there are hardly words to describe the embarrassment it brings. Here, in pictographic form, is a sad but true story of one girl’s frightening dating experience. (Please note: In each drawing, the gentleman in the middle is becoming significantly more inebriated as time passes.)
Key
Green jacket guy – Guy 1
Black jacket guy – Guy 2
Girl
Scene
A couple is sitting in a club when a chic-looking man wearing an alligator-skin jacket with a black button-down (though currently unbuttoned) shirt saunters into the room. The man is a bit too attractive and high-fashion to be straight (possibly a metrosexual, but all signs point to homosexual).
When the alligator man lights his cigarette, the comedy begins.
Guy 2
Hey dude, where’d you get that fucking sick jacket man? That is awesome, bro.
Guy 1
Thanks, I designed it myself. It’s what I do for a living. I am a clothing designer as well as an interior decorator.
Guy 1
[To girl] So, what do you do?
Girl
I am a journalist. I write about bad dates and drunken sex. And on special occasions I even get to write about dumbass frat guys who make fools of themselves when they come out to the big city after a long winter of drinking booze and nailing prissy girls form Eugene.
Guy 2
Is this guy fucking hitting on you? Cuz I’ll fucking kick his ass, baby.
Guy 1
So, you’re going to write about this kid, right? He’s practically writing the story for you. I feel your pain, honey.
Guy 2
Dude, you should really button up that shirt, bro. It looks like you are trying a bit too hard for the ladies. Chicks don’t dig the stripper look, ya know.
Guy 1
You think so? Wow, my friend Troy told me it looked hot. He said it brings out the color in my eyes.
Guy 2
Dude, do you fuckin’ shave your chest too? That’s fuckin’ gay bro.