Dating is fairly horrific in general, and sometimes, a person can be subjected to a date that is so unbelievably terrible there are hardly words to describe the embarrassment it brings. Here, in pictographic form, is a sad but true story of one girl’s frightening dating experience. (Please note: In each drawing, the gentleman in the middle is becoming significantly more inebriated as time passes.)
Green jacket guy – Guy 1
Black jacket guy – Guy 2
A couple is sitting in a club when a chic-looking man wearing an alligator-skin jacket with a black button-down (though currently unbuttoned) shirt saunters into the room. The man is a bit too attractive and high-fashion to be straight (possibly a metrosexual, but all signs point to homosexual).
When the alligator man lights his cigarette, the comedy begins.
Hey dude, where’d you get that fucking sick jacket man? That is awesome, bro.
Thanks, I designed it myself. It’s what I do for a living. I am a clothing designer as well as an interior decorator.
[To girl] So, what do you do?
I am a journalist. I write about bad dates and drunken sex. And on special occasions I even get to write about dumbass frat guys who make fools of themselves when they come out to the big city after a long winter of drinking booze and nailing prissy girls form Eugene.
Is this guy fucking hitting on you? Cuz I’ll fucking kick his ass, baby.
So, you’re going to write about this kid, right? He’s practically writing the story for you. I feel your pain, honey.
Dude, you should really button up that shirt, bro. It looks like you are trying a bit too hard for the ladies. Chicks don’t dig the stripper look, ya know.
You think so? Wow, my friend Troy told me it looked hot. He said it brings out the color in my eyes.
Dude, do you fuckin’ shave your chest too? That’s fuckin’ gay bro.