Ninja suits and beer satchels: great gift ideas for the criminally insane

The holiday season is often a time of joy, thanksgiving and unfortunately the stress of finding that special action adventurer a gift that fits within the budgetary boundaries of what’s left of your Financial Aid check. Lucky for you I stayed away from the plastic and flammable d퀌�cor of Holiday drowned malls. I went to this little stretch of road I like to call Grande Ave. where Next Adventure and Andy and Bax live in outdoor glory. This little outdoor shopping guide should help those on a budget get the most bang for their buck, and keep you out of the mall.

Next Adventure

426 S.E. Grand Ave.


Next Adventure is the Powell’s Books of the Portland Outdoor scene. They offer new and used items discount prices. You can even haul in your old gear for in store credit. From snowboards and skateboards to kayaks and camping gear you’ll be sure to find what you’re looking for. The employees have a lot of outdoor experience and are very helpful. Don’t forget to ask manager Danny Wolf-Feather about his six-month hike through the Appallachian Trail. He has tons of great stories and pictures.

Snowboarding Packages

Snowboarding packages range from $200-$349. Each package includes boots, bindings and a board. The cheaper packages are great for beginners, while the high-end deals offer finer quality boards, boots and bindings. Kids can get packages for as cheap as 130 bones. Ski packages run at slightly different costs, but are still great deals.


Mountainsmith Pack

Mountainsmith packs are the perfect gift for the partying college student. The pack plays as a hip pack, shoulder bag and can be converted into a backpack. The packs are smaller than regular packs, but offer plenty of room for PBR and some English lit books. The innards of the bag have plenty of pockets and slots for Christmas goodies. Mountainsmith packs combine minimal size and maximum space. Costs run between $45 and $90 depending on if they’re new or used.

Cerro Torre 40L

Cerro Torre’s are full-on backpacks for the student who loves to study biology out in the wild. The full-sized packs can hold 240 square inches of books, beer and dirty underwear for your mom to wash. The 40L is the epitome of versatililty, with a built in rain cover, helmet holder and you can ever strap you snowboard to it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Grizzly Adams or a slide-ruling Poindexter, the Cerro Torre 40L can take the punishment and keep your stuff dry.

Andy and Bax

324 S.E. Grand


Andy and Bax is a Portland institution. Nowhere else could you find camouflage hot pants and Luche Libre masks living peacefully among ninjas outfits and large caliber weapons (for display only). Not only do Andy and Bax have a ton of fun stuff, but also offer some of the finest whitewater rafting equipment in the Northwest. To top is all off Andy and Bax offer a wide array of Military surplus clothing, equipment and boots. A&B opened their doors in 1944, and have heavy connections in the surplus and outdoor supply network. Finding the coolest stuff for rock bottom prices is not a problem here.

Tent Cot

Star Wars and Lord of the Ring geeks rejoice! You no longer have to pitch a tent and lay out your air mattress while waiting for weeks to be the first geek in the theater. Now all you have to do is pitch your bed with the nifty Tent Cot. These contraptions are the best of both worlds, combining a cot and tent – duh! Tent Cots some in standard, deluxe and double sizes. I actually climbed into one of these bad boys and found it quite comfortable, unlike standard cots. Prices range from $120 to about $200. If you are smart, you’d ask to throw in the rainfly for an extra 20 clams. Wet Tent Cots are bad!

Camouflage for the sophisticated woman

There comes a time in a man or woman’s life when finding that perfect gift for that hard to please lady becomes a nightmare. Awaken and marvel and the wonders of camo halter tops, hot pants and swim wear. When she asks where you got the finest quality of thong camo, and you say ‘Where are you?’ just tell her you got it at Andy and Bax for less than 10 bucks apiece.

Camo that won’t go up you butt

Besides sexy camo, Andy and Bax offer tons of other camo gear including British, French and other types of Euro-camo. Bins upon bins are full of camo for all sizes. Prices range between $10 and $30. You won’t find this kind of camo variety at any Old Navy and that’s for damn sure.

Luche Libre masks

Vive El Diablo! The hey day high-flying Mexican wresting returns with these awesome masks. Become your alter ego and kick some ass without any knowing you real identity, but be careful, if you’re unmasked you may have shell out another 20 bucks to get a new one.

The Ninja Outfit

Be your own American Ninja! Breaking into the dean’s office to paint it black will be a snap with this trendy jet back ninja outfit. The killer outfit includes shoes and mask for just $30. Dad might even love this one for those midnight fridge raids. Aieeee!!!!

Jungle Boots

Getting good pair of boots can be a pain in the ass in this town without having to shell out your coal black soul in the form of a charge card. But thank goodness for authentic jungle boots. Sturdy and able to survive most nuclear winters, jungle boots look great with that Santa outfit and cost under $25.