Planet Zolar X

Seventies space-glam band Zolar X have returned to Planet Earth, and lucky me, I got to talk to them and learned that they do indeed come in peace.


What are your names?

Ygar Ygarrist (pronounced ‘Why-gar Why-gar-ist’), laser lead guitarist, Zolar X. Eon (Ian) Flash, pattern time. Jett Starsystems, bass.


What’s life like on Plutonia?

YY: I get this one a lot, life on Plutonia is unlike Earth because there are no wars, there is no hate, there is no crime, life is an atmosphere without gravity so we float around freely and all we do is share love.

What made you decide to come to Planet Earth?

YY: Because X marks the spot.

JS: Planet Earth seemed to be in a bit of trouble so we came to oversee things a bit.

What do you think is glamorous about outer space?

YY: I think the glamour part of outer space is the creator’s vision of creating something so vast that it would take forever and ever to travel but with the speed of thought, it’ll get you there.

Anything you guys want to add to that?

EF: What he said!

JS: Do you know that you’re in outer space right now?

I am in outer space.

YY: You are in space!

I am in space.

YY: Because Earth is in space!

Is everyone on Plutonia as glamorous as you?

YY: Well everyone on Plutonia is an elf so yeah! You should see the galaxy girls that drop by – my goodness gracious! Earth girls have nothin’ on ’em!

How do you say rock ‘n’ roll in Plutonian?

YY: Well, you could say rock ‘n’ roll or you could say Ooohlay Tutta. And to say thank you is Nock Voo, to say greetings is Nop Trey. To say "we love you" would be Vell Artia Voo.

That sounds beautiful. That’s a beautiful language. Is there a novel or movie or TV show that accurately portrays life on Plutonia?

YY: Hmm (contemplates) – A science fiction TV show or novel or movie? Well, I like them all, I think they’re all really fascinating, I love the technology of the newer stuff, I love Spock, maybe even "My Favorite Martian." And you could even go to Harryhausen, and Bernard Herrmann’s soundtracks of "War of the Worlds" to "Mysterious Island Voyage To The Bottom of The Sea.” I love those movies. Anything that is surreal that takes you away from life and the torment of just waking up some days.

JS: I’m pretty much the same, I mean some are made better than others but they’re all pretty enjoyable even the ones that are really hokey.

YY: Maybe Cinderella! Cinderella with the fella, but I mean the pixies, with the colors.

Not the bad stuff?

YY: Not the bad stuff, the bad stuff is really the one, the reason, the true reason why Zolar X is here and it’s a state of mind. And it would be wonderful for everyone on this planet, as we all know, to put their weapons aside and search for a truth inside of each other and help. We could feed a whole continent.

JS: I’d say weapons are useless.

EF: Serves us no purpose! And there are no winners in war!

Some may believe that you’re really earthlings that believe they came from outer space because maybe you took too many “Liquid Space Drops -“

YY: That’s a good one! Well – no because I didn’t know what a Liquid Space Drop was when Zolar X and the idea hit and then … oh – (sighs.) To say it in a nutshell, to think we’re not in space or we’re not from space is irrelevant, it’s a state of mind that if people look to the skies with wonder, they’ll see what they’ll need to see. And keep looking up, there’s things happening in the sky that we won’t be aware of quite soon.

Are there Plutonians living among us in disguise besides yourselves?

YY: There’s one in Umatilla Prison, (former vocalist) Zory Zenith.

I’m not going to ask any sort of details of his confinement, but it didn’t involve any sort of raygun or anything like that did it?

YY: No. But there’s also one in Boise, Idaho that married an earth-woman, so he’s a lost cause.

EF: (Laughs) He’s stuck in Idaho!

He left Plutonia for Idaho, I don’t get it.

YY: He left a dream for a nightmare.

EF: (Laughs goofily) Traded in a dream for a nightmare!

What do you think is the most glamorous constellation in the heavens?

YY: Orion Nebula.

JS: I would concur with that.

EF: Yeah! Yeah! Orion Nebula!

How does it feel to be finally recognized, as well, rock n’ roll legends?

EF: Well, the legend part, I mean come on, that’s –

You don’t think of yourselves as legends?

EF: Well, it feels good but we’re just out playin’!

YY: To get the second chance to do it again, when your heart gets broken and ripped out and stepped on. The way I think of it, the Dark Side won! And finally for some light to start shining through this was an ultimate, almost unbelievable, the Zolar X comeback basically, the reentry. It’s unbelievable! I’m enjoying every second of it and I’m going to continue to enjoy every second of it, and I will be approachable by anyone at any time that’s wants to pick my brain, that’s fine with me, because I really intend to enjoy it.

Any last words from Zolar X?

YY: Nop tray Planet Earth! (Greetings Planet Earth!)